The Ballad of the Bad Board

Evening adventurers,

I entrust you with another poetic effort. If you enjoy it, I have others scattered through the community section.

The Ballad of the Bad Board

Listen well, and heed my tale
Lest you share my fate
When the board is bad
And fortune flees
Beyond the Summon Gate

My foe is chosen
And stands across
The far side of the board
Wu and Caedmon, Kiril, Kelile
And centre: Melendor

My strategy is obvious
If victory I desire
I’ll double up on heroes red
And burn them all with FIRE

I call up a mighty host
To rend them all asunder
To punish this moronic choice of a green obsessives blunder

Colen, Bold Tusk, Chao and John
And Sabina form the line
Smash the tank with ruby tiles
It’s tactically sublime.

I spend my flag and press Attack
In eager anticipation
But as the board hoves into view
This turns to consternation…

Blue tiles. Across the screen.
Red underrepresented
Never in all history
Has a board been so resented.

Still I attack, there is no choice
Throw caution to the wind
My cunning strategem,
It seems, must immediately be binned

So blue and green, a yellow too
I do my level best.
To destroy this wretched team
And add them to my chest.

But as I flail and flap and flop
All is a mirage
While opposite the mana bar
Is almost fully charged.

And then at once, Melendor
Unleases all his healing
And now debuffed, Bold Tusk’s cry
Is swiftly unappealing.
Kiril too, improves their odds
And I have missed my chance
For the Lord of Monkeys rolls his dice and adds the Gambler’s Stance.

Then the pain is truly felt
Reality starts to bite
The final coup de gace delivered
By Caedmon’s Piercing Strike.

The match is lost,
The cups are gone
My heroes all lie broken
For, despite my cunning plan,
The almighty board has spoken.


Omg that’s amazing hahaha I love it!!!

20 characters of love for that! Nice!

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Lesley what alliance are you in? I always enjoy reading your posts and I’m looking for a new alliance :slight_smile:

If you’re looking for a new alliance as well, we could maybe try to jump into an existing alliance together ?

You know what @Duaneski, I am close to being in the market for a new alliance.
Mine is fine, and there’s a bit of chatter, but I think I’d like something a bit more ambitious and organized. Nothing that’s going to be stressful, just a bit of direction and impetus.

I’ll definitely see this war through because I don’t want to leave them short handed.

If you want to shop around and suggest something, I’d be interested.

My team is around 2900 and I’m strictly F2P (which I constantly bang on about).

I’m 18+, and I should say, before anyone is horribly disappointed, that I’m a guy. I let my daughter tinker with my profile a while ago before I knew it would cost a ton of gems to change. And she picked a girl’s name, which I’m stuck with for now.

I didn’t really mean to get as involved as I have, but now people are referring to me with female pronouns, which has been a bit perculiar, so, there it is. Apologies if anyone feels I should have mentioned it sooner.


Unacceptable. Your man-ness means that the offer is rescinded :laughing:

Nah that’s perfect man. Me and the Mrs are looking now and are in a very very similar boat to you. We don’t dislike our alliance but are looking for something more ambitious and organized. How do you feel about Line or Discord? (We are both right around 2700 power btw. We are low spenders on the game, I think we have both spent right around $10 over 3 months)

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I haven’t used either, but had a quick look. I’d be happy to use them, the in-game chat window is very basic and wipes content too quickly.

Sounds like the beginnings of a plan…

OMG mind is blow Lesley-annia a man?!
That’s so crazy, name was maybe, but I am still a fan.

I doubled up on blue to take on ole Lion Head.
Lo behold a field of green, I think I sh*t the bed.
I clear and clear but to no avail because Azlar is red.
His special goes off and now my entire team is dead.


I love the idea that Azlar would constantly be sulking because despite his magnificence, everyone just calls him Lion Head.

Thanks for the verse DMP :grin:


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