Leave your current alliance, search for the one you want and then apply, if they have room and you meet the criteria they may have set.
Best to check that alliance first before leaving your current one, as you’ll be out in the cold if you can’t join!
Edit: common misconception about invite only…they can’t actually invite you, you must request to join and then they accept (or deny) that request. Strange wording within the game but that’s how it works 
Completely agree my alliance goes up against teams who use all their flags and at the end we still have about 39 flags left that can be used why don’t we use them?
It’s possible that some of your players don’t know that you need 30 heroes to be able to use all 6 flags. Some people think that requirement is excessive. But if they think that’s bad, they’ve obviously never completed the Tavern of Legends questline (where you need 50 heroes).
It’s also possible that some of your teammates will only go after targets that they think they can kill. That makes sense in raids, but you need to let them know that wars are not like raids. In a raid, you either kill all 5 of the opponents in one try, or you lose. In a war? If you even do the slightest bit of damage to 1 of your opponents, you score some points for your team.
The most common issue I see is that some players will only go after other players that they think they can take out in one hit. If their fourth war flag is only 3k TP and every opponent is above 3.5k TP, they don’t even try, because they think it’s a waste of time. Not true at all! A 3k attack team can do significant damage to a 3.5k defense. And maybe they have to use 2 flags to take it out completely, but every point counts.
I think a lot of players just don’t fully understand how wars work. They don’t know that you can still score points without taking out the entire team in one shot. And they don’t realize that even a lower team can score good points from “mopping up” the leftover survivors from another player’s attacks. Those are some of the easiest points a lower level player can get in a war, is from mopping up already wounded heroes after somebody else attacked.
…this × 1000.
Some alliances that are facing superior defences often feel they have lost before war has even begun. Those that are able to see beyond the “mismatch” and actually give it a decent nudge can do surprisingly well. Use the bigger hitters in your alli to “tank bust” and let others mop up.
Remember too, that although the enemy may have posted brutal defences, those may be the ONLY heros of note they have and that they too will struggle in the second half attacks.
Keep going till the end…leaving flags unused is a cardinal sin.
I think probably at least 95% of my alliance’s opponents have looked unbeatable compared to us. Every time I’m like "what the hell kind of 
is this? Again???"
Yet… we still end up winning about half of our matches. Against teams that we shouldn’t have been able to beat. Why? Because they left a bunch of flags unused. No other reason.
Our last opponent was significantly stronger than us. And they beat us, as I originally suspected they would. Because they used all of their flags. Kudos to them. As much as I hate to lose, it’s not nearly as annoying when our opponents beat us honestly. There was no trickery, no exploits, no laziness on their part. They just had stronger teams than we did, and they used them.
Cheers to that. 
So I can’t be mad at them. They did what I would have done had the situation been reversed. My beef now is with the matchmaking system that thought they were a fair opponent for us to have to fight in the first place.
When someone new enters my alliance I ask him how he carries the stronghold , training camps and how many heroes he has to the maximum. Among other things.
Then I help or guide him to improve in all these aspects. Which buildings to uograde first. What trainings to research and which not. And what will be their role in the war.
Most thank me the advices and notice the improvement, others do not. Those are free spirits that take little time to leave the alliance.
As @TGW does in his great and funny war stories if a novice player with only 3 * heroes and a few 4 * heroes is a little warrior who has a certain role and must accept it.
Sorry I’m a dud, that AW matchup yesterday, despite shallow benches I don’t have the punching power to get past those huge defenses.
I remember my first alliance, nobody hit anything reliably… me and one or two others would occasionally chat and get frustrated about the lack of participation. Then I joined a great alliance that was laid back yet expected full participation. I was still very much a newbie, so was cleaning up damaged Sartanas and Liannas using needler Layla etc. But that would give 20 points or so for a cleanup that would be wasted for our higher level players. So every bit helps. Now rl does get in the way occasionally, but as long as it’s not a habit we usually are ok with it. When you have alliance members scattered across the globe, and you run a war strategy, which we do, every once in a great while the timing leads someone to miss because we’re waiting for a reset and it’s 3am local time and they fall asleep lol. But that’s unusual and if course rl emergencies are perfectly understandable… you have to balance the good players occasionally missing, with kicking the habitual offenders. But kick them you must if it’s a habit. A good reason and a sh*t, so sorry I missed is good enough not to kick a good player. Finding the balance between militant enforcement and total laxity keeps it fun yet competitive.
Most of us don’t. Hence why I keep complaining about matchmaking. None of our smallest members can make a dent in those kind of defenses. Even our medium members - they can dent them, but not kill them outright without using multiple flags.
Meanwhile, opponents come in and one shot all of our small and medium guys with no sweat.
It’s not fair, but then, nobody said life E&P was fair.
It helps if the players are aware of their bad performance and just opt out for a bit.
You didn’t perform badly, you had a legitimate issue. That war was basically unwinnable for us anyway. Well, might not have been if I had gotten better boards, but after my hits, we were still too far behind to catch up either way.
But, yes, if you don’t feel like you’re up to doing the wars, feel free to opt out. Real life always comes first. When I complain about people not using flags, the ones I’m talking about are the people who have a bunch of flags and they just “don’t feel like” using them. Like it’s too much trouble to spend a few minutes trying to help out your alliance. To players like that, I say: opt out. I can’t force you to use your flags, I won’t kick you out for not using them, but if you opt into wars, you should at least want to or try to use them. If you’re able to. If you’re not able to? That’s totally okay. But if you anticipate that you won’t be able to use them in the next war either, then you should just voluntarily opt out.
I’ll be back, just after I am more certain about some personal issues…
@sft1965 take all the time you need, and we’ll gladly have you back on the battlefield when you are ready 
Completely agree. in most of the wars where we’re outmatched, we manage to score pretty close (like last one, the gap was less than 1000 points) due to superior teamwork and target choice.
It also helps that our strongest attackers know, that our role is to tank-bust. Even if we can’t one-shot the strongest enemy defenses, we do as much damage as we can for an easier mop up. Sometimes just blasting the tank is enough, or clearing one side of the battlefield. We manage a few total resets that way.
and of course if the enemy is foolish enough to leave flags unused, sometimes we even end up winning! We’ve won a few that way, where I bet the enemy was laughing at our pitiful defenses and thinking they can take a break… only to have us squeak a win by a few hundred points 
My bad boards really hurt us in that last war. Seriously, they were awful. Sad thing is that my smaller teams did far more damage than my best teams, because I got decent boards on those. So annoying when you can bring in a 2500 team and take out a 4300 team, then you bring in a 3800 team and fail to one shot a 4100 team because no usable tiles? 
Of course I’m used to that happening once, twice, occasionally even three times in a war. This last one though was just an epic disaster. Nearly everything that could have gone wrong went wrong for me. LOL. Telly fired minions before I could kill her. Mother North respawned the entire team after I had 4/5 of them killed. Etc. etc.
Oh well. What can you do? Like I’ve always said, when it comes to boards in this game… some days you’re the dog, other days you’re the fire hydrant. Apparently it was my turn to be the hydrant.
There are, look in the recruiting section on the forum, my alliance has everyone from beginners up to top 100 players, and there are numerous ones to choose from there that are fun, dedicated and excited to play the game at all levels. Find one that suit you, in Guardians we use all war flags if opted in and hit the titan regularly, I don’t think that’s too hard 
There are different kinds of alliances, some like it when it doesn’t matter too much if you use all flags (casual alliance) and some others require it (non-casual).
You leader needs to enforce it, or just declare it’s a casual alliance. And if she’s not, then leave and find a better alliance.
You should know that the current matchmaking system does not punish missing flags and does not reward using flags or even competence. If your alliance is missing flags consistently, your alliance will just fight lesser alliances or alliances that don’t use flags. In the end, it doesn’t matter, the matchmaking system just wants you to win 50% of the time, lose 50% of the time. It’s pathetic if you ask me, but that’s the way it is, basically the fact that they aren’t using flags will even out over time. They just tried to change it, my alliance was actually matched against another alliance with comparable roster and skill, but it’s so jarring for some, they didn’t implement it.
You’re actually getting this problem because your alliance is highly skilled. We had the same thing, even last war, many of our members have troops about level 14, the other alliance had most troops at level 30. Big difference.
I found the only way out is when you guys all eventually get around 20+ 5* heroes. Then it starts levelling out and the differences are mostly only in troops and emblems.
But before then, it’s just brutal. Every time you win, they just keep on feeding you tougher opponents until you are winning and losing 50% of the time. I know, it’s not fun to constantly be the underdog. I was hoping that they’d fix matchmaking, but it’s a rough transition for the casuals, if SG does this they need to smooth the numbers out over time.
Also, it helps if people are in the same ballpark of level, roster, number of 5 star heroes. Otherwise they can’t compete and will be doing mostly cleanup.
Check out “guardians academy”, “guardians rising”, “guardians university”. These are all brother sister alliances in our family that you can use to be with like minded players.
Uhh…an alliance mate gave birth to her child last December and she fought her war flags after that 
Edit: we told her, it would be no problem if she missed that flags^^