"You're Fired" - careers for heroes

In early 2019 the economy tanks worse than Aegir and SG goes bust…

All our brave heroes need to retrain and get back in the job market.

Ideas for new careers:

Boldtusk - cheerleader - ok, he’ll look odd in a skirt but he’ll get the college football team pepped up with War Cry!

Colen - shampoo commercials - his feels 50% stronger, and looks so healthy it shines

Gravemaker - school cook - no bratty kid is going to go hungry when a druid wearing a skull serves up a bowl of tasty horse offal.

Wu Kong - stock market commodities trader. Please note shares my fall in value, as well as rise.

Gormek - doctor - your athletes foot will be cured when your leg in chopped off at the knee

Renfeld - birthday party rent-a-clown. For a party you’ll never forget… and will remember in your dreams… please not the dreams… don’t make me sleep mummy… that’s when I see the clown :clown_face:

Zeline - astrophysicist at NASA. What, you thought she was just a pretty face? Shame on you.

Any other good ideas?


To me Gormek have always looked like a chef of some kind because of his size and name of his special (yes, I realize two others share the same special)

Gormek: My days pulverizing my enemies may be done, but these meats aren’t going to cook themselves, take my “Flaming Tenderizer!” Swings giant Meat Tenderizer


Horghal - Poster boy for ecologically friendly underwear
Elena - sushiman from hell
Vivica - translator to hearing impaired folk
Domitia - weapons of mass destruction analyst


i always thought wu kong would be a
crazy school bus or train driver :smiley:


Musashi - Viagra spokesman
Hansel - boy-band rockstar
Alberich - drummer in Hansel’s boy-band


Guin, Morgan, and Rana could all model for the queen picture on playing cards. :laughing:

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Isarnia also has that Opera singer / Sarah Brightman-like vibe to me.
Isarnia: Not a fan of opera huh? Well, no one is perfect. Sings a touching Celtic hymn to the audience, with just the right amount Glacial Shatter to lower the crowd’s defenses against her songs

Leonidas: Oh how the once proud and mighty King of Sparta has fallen, sitting here in this sampling booth makes me want to hurt someone… Oh, hello there, would you like to try this new deodorant, sir? It’s called “New Spice - Madness” It goes on smooth, and doesn’t chaff your underarms. Trust me, I know.


That’s amazing :grin:

300 characters


Kiril runs the local bar, Dragon’s Tavern. Always offers a frosty mug o’ ale and a gripping story from his war days.


and all this time i thought he was a bouncer :smiley:

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Take away the axe and give him a comb.


Obakan will be an actor. He could play the role of He-Man.


I always thought Kirill to be a serious candidate to act as Kris Kringle in a remake of Miracle on 34th street


Drake opens a Jeet Kun Do school.

Melandor plays Gandolf on Broadway

Kiril and Boril play Thoren and Kelli in the same play

Gregorian and Lianna get married. Spend there time in the forest with Friar Tuck stealing from the rich and giving the poor.

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You forgot Little John he is there too!


Yes I did.

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Mok-Arr is going to try actor career in new Jaws movie.

Domitia decides to make rock band with her singing. And hires Joon(angry look, which suits for rock band) for playing drums and Drake(he is always wanted to do that, he has that \m/ sign in his left hand) to be guitarist. Basist will be Grimm, since every rock band need devilish looking guy.

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Sounds like a seedy little joint. Perhaps Vivica will take her wine serving skills to a higher-end establishment…

(Note: The following amazing portrait is blatantly stolen. Thanks @FraVit93!)


Somehow I knew that image would eventually pop up in this thread… :rofl:

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Evelyn will find her true calling as an actress. With her flaming red hair and built in arc reactor on her chest, she’s a shoe in for the Iron Man reboot staring Tony and Peppers granddaughter, Ginny Stark.


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