Words of Wisdom: Dawa

Hey, all. PeachyKeen, your loyal reporter reporting for duty.
Been a minute, but I have something else for you guys.
After months of trying, I finally got a call back from Dawa.
Apparently she forgot to pay her phone bill, and Renfeld bought a pallet of Cheetos, so by the time she remembered, it was too late and Prisca had to pay the rent. Not sure what that was all about, but she got back to me… and I wasn’t around.

Funny how that happens, sometimes.

What follows is my best attempt to transcribe her stream-of-consciousness voicemail.

[start]

Hey–Ren… REN… these voicemails still got beeps right?
HAHAAHAHAHAHAH YOOOOOOOOO Gonna be smellin cheetos for weeeeeeeks… YOU NASTAAAAAYY. HAAHAHAHA SNOT ROCKAAAAAT
oh shh…

Yo… PK… Just missed the beep n stuff. Phone bill all paid up. You howitis right?

So like… I’m in this weird, hazy group that people always hate on.

Don’t know you, care even less, feel me?

I mean, I already got it goin on with Renfeld and Prisca, prolley the best throuple evahh.
So yeah I, like, only care about them and maybe four-to-the-two-oh-- knowwhatimsayin?

Haters gonna hate, but yall be playin this stupid game like it matters, hatin on me n mine… all the while I’m smokin sommen, fellin fine. Yall be mad nuff to throw ya phone. I’m just chilln.

See, I got the right plan fo life. Do what makes ya feel good. Care nuthin bout nobody that don’t make ya feel good.

Renfeld, Prisca… oh yeah. they do me right, know’m sayin?
[ singing ]
You down with P-Y-P? yeah you know me!
You down with P-Y-P? yeah you know me!
[ /singing ]

So just take a chill pill. Play if ya like, don’t expect too much and care only as far as you be entertained. Beyond that? Nope. Just nope it all.

Nerfs? Nope. Buffs? Nope. Angst? Nope. Forums? Nope. Bills? HAHAHAAH just playin.

Just chill.

That’s all I’m sayin.

Hit me back, PK.
[end]

So, apparently, the source of all of our problems is our failure to “Chill.”

I could call her back, I could. But I don’t want her on my team and I definitely don’t want her in my ear.

Who should I reach out to next? Comment below and I will do my best to reach out to the hero of your choosing!

Peace, Love and Chill from your E&P Neighborhood Reporter

–PeachyKeen

5 Likes

That was interesting to be sure. :joy: I wouldn’t mind Muggy, Isarnia, Boldtusk, Lianna, or Gormek. You do really good reports @PeachyKeen

1 Like

Lianna got back to me the fastest. We have an appointment later. Be warned, she’s feisty!

1 Like

Lol… I feel like Friar Tuck would give an excellent E&P sermon, or maybe Danz for an AA meeting :laughing:

3 Likes

I’d like to hear what Domitia had to say

1 Like

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