Which Hero could YOU Actually Take in Fight?

Following on from Jenneh looks like she’s going to punch someone I got thinking… could I actually beat her in a fight? (I’ve had a long evening trying to get the baby to sleep)

So, yeah, I’m going to say I, an average guy with a yellow belt (the noobest one) in Jui Jitsu could beat Jenneh in a fight.

And what’s more there’s a bunch of other so called ‘heroes’ I reckon I could batter:

Olaf - the guy is clearly past it. I’d dodge the spear, trip him up and he’d be like a tortoise on it’s back.

Quintus - will tire quickly wearing his silly robot hand. His visibility will be reduced too, because of his highly tinted goggles. Surprise attack from the side is an easy win.

Mnessus - on dry land, obviously, although I got my 25m swimming badge, so either way actually.

Shrubbear - rev up the strimmer and it’s game over for this animated shrubbery.

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Glass Jaw Viv. A hard swipe to the chin and she’s out.

Peters. It’s always been a dream of mine to rip off someone’s arm and beat them to death with it, and I feel like I could do that to Peters.

Unless my life were on the line I don’t think I’d ever resort to kicking a man in the crunchbasket. But I don’t know… there’s something about Renfeld… one swift kick to the nards on that dude doesn’t feel like a cheap shot at all; but deserving. Maybe I’d throw sand in his eyes prior, too.

Danzaburo. Are we allowed to bring a burlap sack with us into a fight? If so, I’d probably place the sack on the ground with a stick propping it open, lure him in with a carrot, stick falls… a little trickster’s gambit of my own. Then it’s just a matter of whether I immediately start stomping on the sack, or grab it and smash it against big rocks.

Gafar. Once his beard hair comes untucked from his robe it’s game over. Pull that down, fast, where his face meets my knee.

Isarnia. I won’t get into details. I just feel like I could. And maybe should?

So, yeah, pretty much some women, children, elderly, and rodents. I never said I’d be proud of it, but since the question was asked…

Except Renfeld. I’d be proud of that.

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I’m fairly certain I could take Agwe …

Maybe Jill

Aife, No way!

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Pretty much anyone! I’ll fight to death it’s me or you :woman_shrugging:

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This guy gets it.

Isn’t Peters already dead?

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Zeline and natalya. I would fight them very hard… in bed… :slight_smile:

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The only person I’m interested in fighting is Friar Tuck. If he promises to stop smiling like that I might re consider

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Id be too creeped out to fight Friar Tuck!

However…

  • Guardian Falcon can’t see out of his mask or turn his head. Gotcha!

  • Justice’s sword is actually made of stone and stuck to the floor. I might toss a bucket of paint and run, laughing. Poor Justice!

  • Cheshire Cat is easily distracted by a ball of string. Boom! Whap! Football kick and Cheshire is outta here (for a second)! :grin:

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And so are you. Lol.

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if he’s already dead does it count? :thinking:

EDIT: lol @JonahTheBard asking the same question as me, I should read the replies :stuck_out_tongue:

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I know you share my passion for coherent narrative mythology while discussing violence towards undead children.

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I read this a second time and laughed all over again

You, sir, are a flag bearer for inclusivity. They should get you to nominate the Oscars

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I would bruise muggy and all his bros

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@JonahTheBard
@DaveCozy

Why must you both pooh-pooh on my dreams?

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Me, because I loathe myself and all of humanity

Dave, because he is a literal poo

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:poop: :+1:

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I know we’re pretty numb to things on the forum…but the fact that @JonahTheBard & @DaveCozy pay no mind to this and are more concerned about the mortality of Peters is…

…pretty much on par for them…carry on…

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Oh wait? Something to flag! :grin:

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I’d give you ALL my likes for this if I could :grinning:

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