“Yes, he made me. I’m a wooden boy! Look!” And saying that a small wooden figurine stepped out of the shadows. “Help me find my keys and I can drive us all home.”
As Pinocchio said this his nose started to get longer. “Uh oh” he said. “I should never tell a lie.”
“What do I say?” asked Pinocchio. “I have never been good at lying.” And with that his nose got longer.
“How did you end up here?” asked @nevarmaor, sensing that this Pinocchio loved to spin a yarn.
“Well, I was saving the Princess from the Black Knight …” and his nose got even longer and longer. Soon it was so long it was touching the roof of the cavern they were trapped in inside the whale. It wiggled back and forth as it poked the whale over and over and over …
Suddenly everyone is happy. Hu Tao is riveted by the concept of frozen smoothies until he is startled by whimpering and howls from some heroes (who really should just cop it on the chin). “Brain freeze this must be about -40 degrees” (for convenience because -40 is the same in both measures)
“Is this a practical joke” (collectively)
Hu Tao just stands by, takes some notes and gets back to some real heroes food: Bamboo, food for champions (Hu Tao smiles to himself)
Raffaele grabbed Sleepyhead and pulled him close. “I’ve missed you, you sexy beast you.”
“Careful!” Sleepyhead screeched. But it was too late! A frying pan hit Raffaele on the head, and another rammed him in the stomach, knocking him out of the story!
Sleepyhead began to back away slowly.
“Let’s do it again, shall we? I got magic!” this new voice was…
“I will cleanse your little feet.” He flicked a wrist and @nevarmaor’s feet instantly cooled, burnt toes healing to a rosy pink.
“I do not have little feet!” @nevarmaor hollered, just in case people got the wrong idea. “I got big–”
Frying pans zoomed happily. Rigard hissed, and the pans wavered. Wasn’t @nevarmaor about to summon a moderator by almost saying something inappropriate?
“Oh Rigs!” @sleepyhead blinked in surprise. “You control the diabolical pans?”
“I do more than that.” Rigard smiled slowly.
“Uh oh.” @sft1965 looked for a quick escape. “He has the costume bonus. But he also has a secret power.”
“What is it, eh?” @nevarmaor wiggled happy toes at everyone. “Tell us.”
“I have the power of the neighborhood.” Rigs slowly enunciated. “Let me just put my cardigan on and I will show you.”
Mr. Rigsers took off his overcoat and hung it up. Then he took down his cardigan and put it on, carefully buttoning it all the way up. “You know, you should never have a mean or impure thought, boys and girls, that can lead to all kinds of trouble and furious frying pans. We don’t want that to happen now, do we? Ok, let’s go see what Mr. Mailman brought for us today.”
Sleepyhead stammered. Was this the Rigard he knew, with the cheeky grin that appeared whenever Sleepyhead did that thing he liked so much, the Rigard that always promised that other special thing was something between only the two of them?
Sleepyhead’s eyes began to roll up in his head as he remembered…
… and as if on cue, a frying pan whacked him on the behind. HARD!
“OW! you *bleeeeeeeepin-!”
And another frying pan whacked him on the head.
He fell like a bag of bricks.
Mr. Rigsers wagged his finger. “What did I tell you, boys and girls?”
J-F looked thoughtfully confused. “is this roleplay? I don’t understand, we’re not in private …” and a flotilla of frying pans dive bombed his poor feathered hat. “This is so not what I remember!” he said as he dived behind cover.
Gormek (wait, what? Gormek!) looked behind him at the cowering J-F. “Ain’t you just the tiniest snivelling morsel.” He grabbed J-F by the scruff of the neck and lifted him up high. “Hey Chef Boldtusk. Whaddaya think we can do wit’ dis one?”
But Chef Boldtusk was holding up his frying pan and staring intently into it. “I see William, and I see Linda. I see Michael and you, too Patsy.”
( I hope this is the crying emoji)