… the magical frying pan released by Rook smashed into @nevarmaor 's phone!
“Is that @sleepyhead 's special?” Proteus yelped.
“No, it’s a moderator’s special!” Hu Tao gasped. “Sleepyhead has been blocked!”
Jean-Francois held his hand to his forehead. “Oh, my big strong man Sleepyhead!”
Sleepyhead grit his teeth. No way someone was going to make him look bad in front of one of his men! He focused his energy, and aimed…
“Wait, my love!” Rigard stepped forward, dapper as ever.
“Where did he come from?” Proteus blinked in surprise.
“The @sleepyhead harem shows up when he needs them.” Hu Tao nodded wisely.
“My new phone!” groaned @nevarmaor. “I just bought it for $999 + tax!”
“You saved your SGG account number?” asked @CaptainjaKCsparrow.
“Hush now!” Rigard stomped his foot, waved his arms, and twirled slowly.
“What is he doing?” @sft1965 muttered.
“Rigard did the Super Cleanse!” gasped Hu Tao. “Just like my smoothie!”
A bright light surrounded @sleepyhead, making him look even more rugged and chiseled than before.
“Aw, thanks Rigs!” @sleepyhead jumped up and down, shaking his arms. “I feel great!”
“Ok, do your special already!” @nevarmaor grumbled. “I have to buy a new phone.”
Sudden purring had everyone turning to @Rook. She raised an eyebrow, as if daring anyone to challenge her.
@sleepyhead raised his own eyebrow. Then he aimed at @Rook and …
LOL
now I’m scared 
… made Rook grow into a giant!
“So that’s Sleepyhead’s special!” Proteus exclaimed.
“Yes… he enhances himself… and us!” Jean-Francois smacked his lips. Rigard grinned greedily.
“So he buffed … all of us?” Proteus frowned. He didn’t know that his giant ear fins were more massive than before. One flap, and poof!
No mana for 100 turns.
“I don’t feel any different.” Hu Tao gulped the last of his smoothie. Then he ran laps around everyone. At 200 MPH. He was a blur.
His speed was Super Duper Very Fast.
JF and Rigard looked at each other. Then they peeked down below. And high-fived each other.
Now THAT was a buff.
Frying pans zoomed and Giant @Rook spit out the hapless businessman.
“That’s it!” @Rook hissed. “Now …”
@Rook pointed at Jean-Francois, dapper Rigard and Sleepyhead. “Off! Off with you, you’re making this too adult!”
Sleepyhead grinned. His special worked on himself too, after all. He could already feel himself getting all pumped up.
Jean-Francois felt Sleepyhead’s muscles, and began to drool. Rigard began to rub his hands eagerly.
“Er, I don’t think this is what you wanted to achieve, @Rook,” @akionna muttered.
Oh brother! Can’t you write ON script?
hugs 
Improvisation is the name of the game 
hugs back! 
…suddenly, in a flurry of flying frying pans, Rook knocked herself out.
“Oh good,” said Sleepyhead, “now on with the story!”
Sleepyhead began to advance aggressively towards Jean-Francois and dapper Rigard…
… when suddenly, they disappeared!
Sleepyhead stood in shock. What happened to his two handsome, hot men? He had been looking forward to enjoying their enhancements and running his fingers through their stubble!
he began to glow again, when someone poured cold water on him!
“Calm down, hot-blooded young man!” said…
…said @amrath.
“Now where were we before all this snuggling?”
“Oh right, the tometeor has just been blown up. Did we do it?! Have we defeated the dark lord?” sorry, different story, but same intent
“Where do we go from here?”
Proteus scratched his ear fins. “Well, Sleepyhead has finally cooled down…”
“… and @CaptainjaKCsparrow is still playing around with his abacus…”
“… @akionna is collecting all the magical frying pans…”
“… @nevarmaor is getting ready to sing!”
@amrath sat up. “What will @nevarmaor sing?”
Then a catchy beat started and @nevarmaor started rapping:
"I like big bu–"
A frying sizzled and zoomed, but he ducked:
"And I cannot lie! You other brothers can’t deny!"
“A big what?” asked Proteus.
“Bazooka?” Hu Tao blinked, wondering why that felt right.
But @nevarmaor wasn’t done:
"When a girl walks in with an bitty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face–"
“She must be carrying melons.” Hu Tao nodded wisely. “Cantaloupes and honeydew are perfect for smoothies!”
@nevarmaor was actively dodging frying pans now:
"You get sprung!"
“From jail?” Proteus flapped his ears in confusion.
This time frying pans circled @nevarmaor, hovering, waiting for the right moment.
@sleepyhead gasped. He saw what others did not. That @Rook had awoken, recharged from her little nap. She smiled and …
… stretched lazily, working her claws into the luxurious carpeting. Ahh, heaven!
Meanwhile, the flying fryling pans began circling @nevarmaor, spinning faster and faster in a synchronous whirling dance reminiscent of an ancient Turkish ceremony. Faster, and faster, and faster they spun.
“Oh my, I am getting dizzy just watching.” Proteus complained as he swooned.
“Urp, smoothies aren’t so nice at high speed blending inside my stomach” Hu Tao added, starting to develop a distinctly green hue.
Suddenly, with a blinding flash, all the flying pans swooped straight in on @nevarmor and the whole ensemble vanished in an instant.
“Where did he go?” asked @akionna
“To a faraway land where he will never grow up and where cursing is not known.” said @Rook. “Look to the second star to the right and go straight on 'til morning.”
@CaptainjaKCsparrow looked up from hi s abacus. “Would that now be called Nevarland?”
“ooh can I go too? I’ve always wanted to fly!” Sleepyhead gave his best pleasing look.
Rook purred and smiled and ruffled his hair. “Off you go young one.”
And Sleepyhead vanished too!
Just then, a red and brown clad woman entered the clearing.
“Where is he now? Why do you people keep zapping him all over the place?”
Hu Tao looked up. “Sharan?”
“No, Mila!”
@Rook looked over lazily. “You can go too.” She twitched her whiskers and Mila started to shrink. Then @Rook flicked her tail and Mila sprouted wings. Finally, she swatted at Mila with her paw and Mila vanished in a small puff.
Proteus and Hu Tao warily eyed @Rook. “You aren’t going to zap us too, are you?” Hu Tao asked quaveringly.
“I don’t think so.” @Rook replied. “There be pirates.”
“Oh no!” Proteus gasped. “You said the P-word. That’s illegal!” He turned to his friend, but it was too late.
Hu Tao aimed his rocket launcher into the sky.
Kaboom!
It was loud and messy. Ducks broke formation just in time. Pieces of the goblin balloon rained down. An intact goblin crate crushed @CaptainjaKCsparrow’s abacus.
“I’m ready.” Hu Tao grinned happily. “Where to?”
I rather liked the Bazookas…
@CaptainjaKCsparrow was still sobbing over his crushed abacus.
@amrath gently tapped him on the shoulder. “Shhh… don’t cry. We can go to where @nevarmaor , @sleepyhead and Mila-as-Tinkerbell are. They’re having the time of their lives!”
“Really?” sniffled @CaptainjaKCsparrow .
“Oh yes, look.” Rook waved her paws in a Cheshire-Cat like way, and a portal opened. They could see @nevarmaor , @sleepyhead and tiny Mila-Tinker-Bell giggling as they zipped through the clouds.
“That looks like fun!” @akionna exclaimed.
“Meh. I would rather be swimming…” pouted @Dr-Zoidberg
“Well, @nevarmaor looks like he’s dog-paddling, so that’s like swimming,” @sft1965 pointed out.
“Works for me, I have fins after all,” said Proteus.
“Well, do you all want to go?” @Rook asked.