… save them. Now, put on these red shirts!"
Proteus, Doc Brown and Marty began reaching for their red shirts!
The forums exploded with horror. “Don’t do they know what happens to red shirts?!” screeched sleepyhead, clutching onto @akionna , who wept a silent tear.
@Saphirra covered his eyes. “I can’t look!”
@nevarmaor began banging on the screen. “Don’t do it! Don’t dooooo itttttttt!”
Can anything save Proteus, Doc Brown and Marty from becoming Star Trek Red Shirts???
thanks! edited to include nevarmaor in the story 
Ahh, NOW we know who Flo is!
Colen, Azlar, and Marjana stepped forward.
“We’re already red, so we’ll take those shirts.” Colen declared, with a toss of his head to straighten out his curl. The three donned the shirts – well, Marjana did. Colen didn’t want to muss his hair and Azlar couldn’t fit it over his head so they just draped them over their shoulders. Then they stepped up onto the platform with the round discs with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (weird how he’s never called Commander, always Mister).
“Scotty, beam us aboard.”
“Are ye sure, Cap’n?”
“YES.”
Just then a 2x4 appeared in the hands of each of them.
“You’ve been at the Scotch again, Scotty? Ensign, relieve Mr. Scott and beam us down.”
“Yessir …”
The five disappeared in a twinkling afterglow of pyrotechnics, to appear …
… in the secret meadow. Where it was naptime:
“Well, that’s anti-climactic,” muttered Azlar. “I was prepared to blast the fat guy into 2021!”
“That must be Telluria’s secret love.” The ever astute @sleepyhead whistled. “No wonder her minions look like baby Totoros!”
“Shut up!” Telluria towered over everyone. “Leave before they wake up!”
“Wassup FLO!” @nevarmaor winked knowingly. “I’ll keep your secret. Even though alliances would pay me buckets of gems for your true identity.”
“Everyone stop bickering!” Captain Kirk shook his head in disappointment. “Don’t forget the mission!”
“What is the mission Captain?” Marjana sidled up to him, the red shirt too big, slipping off one shoulder.
Captain Kirk turned toward the red hero. “My God. You. Are. Stunning.” Then his eyes twinkled, and his smirk was even more wondrous than Colen’s. “Give your red shirt to the guy with fantastic hair. He’ll need it.”
Forum members gasped in horror. Now Colen was DOUBLE DEAD.
But he wasn’t going down without a fight. Colen smirked and shot his special at …
Red Shirt #4! (Where did HE come from? I thought only five beamed down.)
The rules of engagement that govern TrekWorld short-circuited. No one had ever deliberately fired at a Red Shirt before. It was easy to deflect shots towards them but …
Colen’s special subsequently DID deflect. Straight towards the only non-red-shirted members of the away team!
Kirk, Spock, and Marjana all crumpled in a heap.
The Power of the Red Shirts had reached epic proportions. Only those wearing the red shirt would survive. Any other color was doomed to death.
Hu Tao stretched, the crumpling of Kirk, Spock, and Marjana waking him from his nap. Then he lumbered over to Colen, waving his new smoothie, made with melon grass and sweet clover. “Did you come to visit me?”
Colen frowned. “I think we came to rescue you. But I’m not sure.” He flipped his hair, like that would make his brain cells work.
Azlar snickered. “We should leave them here. How do we get out of here?”
“Where do you want to go?” Hu Tao blinked slowly. “Who is Red Shirt #4?”
“It’s me!” said …
… Jean-Francois!
“Ze told me, to wear ze Red shirt, because… with Telly and Vela being nerfed, nobody would use me anymore…” he shrugged. “Bah, me, I do not care. I am just doing zhese, for ze ladies…”
“You got it!” Colen reached out to high five Jean-Francois. But before he did, Kirk woke up!
“Did someone say ladies??” he leaped up.
And by leaping up, he headbutted Telly!
Telly snarled…
… spawning a dozen baby Totoro minions. Then OG Totoro woke, roaring, showing all his perfect teeth.
“Finally!” Colen flipped his hair with glee. “A battle!”
“Engage!” yelled Captain Kirk, kicking a baby minion out of the way.
But no one shot Totoro … or even Telluria. Everyone’s special hit …
… Jean-Francois!
“Sacre bleu!” J-F said as his dinky hat flew off! Then, he fainted!
Everyone looked at each other, stunned. Then…
Telluria laughed. “Did you mean to do that?”
But the inverse rules of engagement finally kicked in, remembering the Invincible Red Shirt Principle with Auto-Deflect.
The specials that hit Jean Francios bounced off him (better late than never), hitting everyone who couldn’t speak French. Or who wasn’t wearing a red shirt.
Hu Tao gasped in shock. Luckily Colen had given him the extra red shirt. Because slow heroes sometimes looked out for each other.
“Who’s laughing now FLO?” @nevarmaor chuckled, standing over the prone Telluria. But his victory was short. He looked up to see …
… The Nerf Squad!
They ran in with their guns drawn and began shooting at everybody!
one shot hit Telluria! She shrieked, and stood up. She used her special, and…
“What’s happening!!! I feel… a little better… but… no minions?!”
Another shot hit Jean-Francois!
“Sacre bleu!” He said as he cast HIS special. “I… my defensive shield… and I didn’t hit everyone, just one enemy!”
Proteus, Hu Tao, Marjana, Azlar and Colen immediately began to run. “I don’t want to be nerfed, I’m underused as it is!” Hu Tao sobbed.
Marjana and Proteus soon began to outpace the others. Colen, seeing the Nerf Squad starting to follow them when he performed one of his trademark flips (Red Steel), grabbed Hu Tao and tossed him back towards the nerfers.
“Sorry, dude, sometimes we don’t.”
Seeing a likely target, they all zeroed in on poor Hu and fired mercilessly.
The nerf darts bounced harmlessly off Hu Tao and fell to the ground. Unaffected, Hu Tao looked at them and asked,
“Want a smoothie?”
“Interesting”, said the head nerfster. “This hero is apparently unnerfable. He is already as bad as he can get.”
“Smoothies all around!” announced a happy Hu Tao, excited to experiment with his newfound best friends. “How about Cactus fruit?”
Those silly heroes thinks poor slow Hu Tao to himself!!!
Hu Tao gives each a smoothie when suddenly: BLAM…,. BLAM, BLAM,BLAM, BLAM and they are on their knees and WORSE, they seem to be blind and they are so terribly injured?
Hu Tao thinks “Cactus Juice? What were they thinking? That ferments and produces methanol! Good luck with the blindness!!” (when will they realise that Bamboo is all anything anything needs in life!?
They should have realised that I am about to be balanced to make me even more awesome! Minions!!!
Now Hu Tao, in general, was a laidback type of hero. He usually had a smoothie to calm his soul, before engaging in any conversation.
But Colen throwing him into the Nerf Squad had surprised him. He didn’t think anyone with such fabulous hair could be so mean. As such, he might have overreacted by blinding the entire Nerf Squad. Except for one young nerfster … who was waving her small gun at him.
“Excuse me, Mr. Hu Tao?” Baby Intern Nerfster blinked nervously. “If you are immune to all nerfs, may I try one more thing on you?” She pointed to a green flashing button. “No one will tell me what it does.”
The Blind Nerf Squad started twitching, trying to stop her. “N-n-no! Don’t!”
Hu Tao didn’t even notice. “Let me just finish my Cactus Smoothie. It is delicious!”
Baby Intern Nerfster aimed and blasted a shot at Hu Tao. All he did was sigh and rub his belly. “That kind of tickled!”
The Blind Nerf Squad groaned collectively. Hu Tao could not get nerfed because he was due for a BUFF. And Baby Intern Nerfster had just buffed Hu Tao beyond OP parameters.
For example, Hu Tao’s speed had flipped from Slow to VERY, VERY FAST. His Defense had tripled, and so did his Health. And those minions that Telluria lost? Now Hu Tao had his very own, and they looked suspiciously like Soot Sprites–but yellow of course.
But the best part was his NEW SPECIAL. Even the new Valhalla heroes would be jealous. In addition to blinding all, now he could …
This story is so hilarious, well done @akionna @sleepyhead @nevarmaor congrats on making me laugh out loud in front of my screen.
… alter the probabilities of RNG itself!
Yes! Anything that depended on RNG… he could control!
Hu Tao heard shuffling in the distance. Margaret, Gormek and Atomos came lumbering over… yes, these were the three silly heroes who also came to laugh at Telluria before Hu Tao did!
“Ugh, what did Telly hit us with…” Margaret snapped.
“Quick!” said the Blind Nerf Squad. “Zap them before they attack us!”
“Oh, don’t do that,” Hu Tao said. “Only Margaret among them will benefit from my special.” And, using his VERY VERY FASTNESS, Hu Tao cast seconds before the Blind Nerf Squad fired…
… and…
MARGARET DODGED EACH AND EVERY BLAST! So did Gormek and Atomos!
They dodged so much that each had his or her special fully charged up again!
Margaret, Gormek and Atomos grinned evilly, then began advancing on the Nerf Squad…
