Pike was disappointed that @Mistress_of_Shadows believed he had woken the dragon. Nobody who counts would ever wake the dragon! That is one of the commandments of sacred @PlayForFun! Never wake the dragon! Or the cow. Or the tree.
As sad as Pike was, he turned away from the group and climbed a small hill. The cloud came closer. He stopped at the top of the hill and took off his cloak. But what you could see was … nothing! Not only did he have no face, he had no body at all!
The cloud came even closer. Thousands of angry ducks!
Pike spread his arms (I’m only telling this because he couldn’t be seen). Now the duck cloud reached him, but the ducks flew right through him! It was like he just wasn’t there anymore!
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“What’s happening to Pike?” Proteus asked, clutching his handkerchief.
“I’ve read about it,” Huu Tao said slowly and cautiously, looking through his notes. “I believe he’s been… beta-ed.”
“What?” everyone asked in unison, even as they took cover from all the flying, pecking, p**ping ducks. (Sleepyhead was cowering under an umbrella… if one of those ducks sh*t on him he would… would…!)
“He’s been pulled from reality and put into beta for testing,” Hu Tao said simply. “He’s… not quite here anymore.”
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“Wait”, asked @nevarmaor, “if he’s in beta now is he being nerfed or buffed?”
“Oh no!” exclaimed @Sarah2. “What if they nerf his counting ability? What if he gets reduced to 3?”
Everyone turned towards the new presence. “Where did you come from?” asked @akionna.
“Thread crossover. I’m making a guest appearance.”
“Well”, rumbled another new voice. “What if they buff his counting ability? I mooooove that be squashed immediately.”
Again everyone turned towards the new, new presence to observe …
“What, you were expecting me to be upside down or something?”
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Someone shouted, “we know you float and levitate, that’s why you’re upside down!”
@littleKAF sighed.
“I knew you squirted money when milked!” yelled another one. “That picture of you with a bucket of cash is proof!”
This time even @nevarmaor slapped his head.
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“I’m back!” roared @Dudeious.Maximus. “You summoned?”
“No …” growled @littleKAF. “These fools summoned me.”
“Are they counting?” asked @Dudeious.Maximus.
“Six!” hollered @Pike.
“I’m so glad you weren’t nerfed!” squealed @Sarah2.
“Twenty four!” @Pike grinned. “Sixty!”
“Ooooooh!” Hu Tao shuffled his notes. “He’s been buffed! He does multiple of six now.”
@JGE staggered into the thread. “Why am I here?”
“You need this for your sticky moment?” Proteus waved his hanky.
“Are you sticky from the popcorn butter …” @nevarmaor squinted. " … or maple syrup?"
“What are you implying?” gasped @JGE in horror.
“What kind of nonsense is this?” grumbled @Dudeious.Maximus.
“Exactly …” purred @Rook.
“I need to install my new toilet …” sighed @littleKAF.
@sleepyhead put on his toolbelt and waved a hammer around. “Need help?”
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nibbles bamboo in the corner…
I brought cookies for everyone… sorry I have been busy too!!
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As Sleepy waved his hammer, he got hit by a bolt of lightning!
“Who did that?!” Sleepy picked himself off the ground, angry.
Thor appeared! “My hammer is bigger, upstart!”
Sleepy scowled and leaped at Thor. “You want a piece of this, pretty boy?!?!”
Proteus clutched his hanky. “We have to help him! He limit broke and emblemed me up to +19!”
Thor began pounding Sleepy into the ground. Sleepy grunted and kicked Thor between the legs.
“You vile coward…!” Thor sat up and dropped his hammer.
“Now!” Hu Tao tapped Proteus, and they both unleashed their specials on Thor, blinding him and blocking his mana!
“Thanks, guys,” Sleepy grinned as he grabbed his own hammer and threw it at Thor’s face!
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Kadilen chuckled and cast her special.
Thor easily dodged the flying hammer. “Thanks babe!”
The hammer sailed past him, twirling and spinning.
“At that rate, with its centripetal force …” muttered @sft1965.
“No time for physics!” @sleepyhead growled.
“It should have hit something by now …” @nevarmaor scratched his head.
Indeed, the hammer was still flying through the air. But at a leisurely pace.
“It slowed down?” @sft1965 frowned. “It’s going toward that corner …”
“My love!” gasped Hu Tao. “Duck!”
@Pandita paused mid-nibble, counting cookies for @Pike. “You wanted six?”
“Thanks!” he smiled. “All that duck gave me a tummy ache.”
Proteus nearly fainted when he realized that Hu Tao was running toward the hammer.
“I can’t look!” gasped @SamMe.
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time seemed to slow as Hu Tao ran toward @Pandita
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”" Hu Tao said really slowly as he ran…
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Everyone stared in fascination as the panorama slowly, ever so slowly (like trying to charge Alfrike slowly) unfolded in front of them. Everyone except @SamMe that is, who still couldn’t look.
@sft1965 began running permutations in his head as quadratic equations unfolded before his eyes. “Hu Tao, no the hammer, no Hu Tao … auugh I can’t calculate who will get there first.”
@nevarmaor handed him a Kit Kat. “You need a break. It looks like time is slowing down faster than they are moving. We could be here a while.”
@Pandita looked up from her tea party …
… she said … in s-l-o-w motion.
…
Hours later – “Is that hammer getting bigger? and shorter” asked @akionna.
“I think Hu Tao is” answered Proteus. “Oh dear oh dear.” And he blew his nose loudly into his hanky.
“You’re both right.” @nevarmaor walked up and pointed to the hammer as it slowly inched its way forward. “This is incredible! We are seeing relativistic effects here in real time.”
“But, are the hammer and Hu Tao slowing down or are we speeding up?” asked @sleepyhead.
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Einstein appeared. “It’s all relative!”
Before anyone could say anything, he was gone again.
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“This is boring!” Thor sneered. He raised his fists above Sleepyhead’s head.
Sleepyhead backhanded him between the legs, and he dropped like a bag of bricks.
“Typical pretty musclehead, think they’re so good but leave you completely unsatisfied,” Sleepyhead muttered. “Now, Lancelot and dapper Rigard, THEY know how to treat a man…”
Before them, @Pandita , Hu Tao and the hammer were still moving in incredibly slow motion.
@akionna had started a game of Monopoly. @nevarmaor grabbed the dice; it was his 2000th roll. “Awww, now I owe YOU rent!” he exclaimed. @Pike grinned as nevarmaor landed on his Dark Blue hotels.
@SamMe 's arms had grown tired from covering her eyes, and she had now blindfolded herself.
Proteus tore his hanky from all his wringing and began to sob. Sleepyhead comforted Proteus, pulling another hanky out of his pocket.
The money cow lay down and sighed, it was all cash-milked out.
Still, the hammer, Hu Tao and Tea all moved in incredibly slow motion…
until…
Lancelot arrived. “I’m here to make the day more exciting!” he winked at Sleepyhead. Sleepy swooned. “My dashing hero.”
Lancelot used his special, speeding Hu Tao, the hammer and Tea up. And…
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All three collided in a cataclysmic eruption of energy and power. Dust and debris billowed everywhere. All were blinded by the specks in their eyes – al but @SamMe.
As the dust settled, two waddling figures emerged from the cloud. @SamMe took off her blindfold and watched them preening their feathers.
“Well, what we have here is a pair o’ ducks.”
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Great philosophical questions arose.
Were all heroes ducks? Were we all ducks? Even @littleKAF? Where did ducks originally come from? Why did they allow themselves to be taken down from the sky and eaten for thousands of years? Were they cannibals? And what did the dragon in the sky have to do with it? And who won the Monopoly match?
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@Pike, with 6 hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk, was deeply invested in the answer to that last subject. “@nevarmaor, you still owe me rent” he added.
Proteus, now on his third hanky, wailed inconsolably. “What happened to my friend Hu Tao?”
One of the ducks looked up and, quacking incessantly, reached behind his back to produce a blender.
Meanwhile, Thor looked around, wondering what happened to his hammer …
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@SamMe pointed to his pocket. “Isn’t that your hammer?”
Thor leered. “Maybe I’m glad to see you.”
“Ewwwwwww!” gasped @sleepyhead. “And it’s my hammer that broke all of Einstein’s laws!”
“Yes, indeed!” chanted The Sleepy Harem.
@nevarmaor growled. “I’m not paying rent until HA10 gives me Gravemaker!”
“That’s it!” @Pike hollered. “I’m doubling your rent … and buying the bank!”
“You’re so dead …” murmured @sft1965. “There’s not enough calculus to undo his genius.”
Then everyone heard the familiar whirl of a noisy blender.
But it wasn’t Hu Tao making smoothies.
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Instead of Hu Tao, it was…
“Sha Ji?!?!”" everyone exclaimed in unison, as people, animals and fanciful magical creatures tend to do in these stories.
Sha Ji scowled. “No! Hu Tao was the last one… I’ve already gotten rid of Bai Yeong and Gan Ju… @Pandita will be all mine!”
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@sft1965 looked up. “It’s actually pronounced ‘Sha-Jee’ you know, not ‘Sha -Jeye’.”
@nevarmaor, glancing over at the new @Pandita enthusiast, remarked “He is kinda hefty, certainly not the REAL slim Sha-Jee.”
Sha Ji suddenly leaped high in the air and swung his staff at @nevarmaor’s head. “I am so sick of hearing that!” Fortunately for @nevarmaor, the blow merely healed him up 28%. But it did make his ears ring.
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While @nevarmaor was dancing around clapping his ears, he bumped into the still-blindfolded @SamMe
“Ooph! Don’t shove, you might hit poor @Pandita or Hu Tao!” @SamMe sad.
“Or my hotels!” @Pike cowered protectively over the Monopoly Board.
“Um…” @sft1965 started to explain, then stopped. “Never mind, I don’t even want to try explaining this.”
Proteus waved his hanky at Sha Ji. “You turn him back into a panda, Hu Tao did nothing to you!”
“And besides,” @sleepyhead drawled lazily, trying to cover up the plot hole he himself created, “How will you romance @Pandita if she is a duck?!”
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Quacks nibbles corn *whimpers softly * … and hops on @SamMe lap {{quack quack quack}} she begged for help… *fallling a sleep I her arms dreaming of @nevarmaor playlist and beautiful times.
All the ducks hopped onto @SamMe to try to feel safe somehow… wondering if everyone will love them anyway they are …
Timbaland - The way I are (SLOWED DOWN)
Everyone excailmed it must be @tea … Everything’s slow again…
Next thing you know we will all be …
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