WHEN SUDDENLY...! Add the Next Line - A story written by Our Community 📖

“I ate a mono Red team with Azlar, Colen, Santa, Khagan and Elena! When will people realize they should not be bringing slow Reds in this meta?”

Hu Tao dropped to his knees. “You monster! How could you eat SANTA! Think of all the children!”

@nevarmaor @sft1965 and Sleepyhead started bawling.

“Er… and the adults with childlike innocence and dreams!” Proteus continued.

Heimdall shrugged, and…

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… belched mightily, producing a noxious particulate cloud that forced everyone to hurriedly step back a few paces.

Holding their noses tightly, they watched as the cloud coalesced into five odious columns of ichor-laden smoke and mirrors. The clouds further condensed as hazy figures began to emerge inside. Soon enough the clouds dispersed to reveal five sodden, bedraggled red heroes.

“Ewww, GROSS!” exclaimed nevarmaor. “I am never using Heimdall again!”

“LOL you don’t even have Heimdall” laughed @sleepyhead.

“Totally beside the point!”

“Weeee, Santa is back!” squealed @sft1965, madly jumping up and down and spinning like a crazy Tilt-A-Whirl. “I can dream again.”

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Santa wiped bile off his face. When his vision cleared, he saw the smug Valhalla hero rubbing his belly. It was too much.

“You are on the Naughty List!” Santa punched him, knocking his giant helmet loose. “Forever!”

“My bald spot!” cried Heimdall.

“How about your burnt feet?” roared Azlar, shooting flames at his boots.

“I was going to do that!” whined Colen, flipping his soggy hair.

“You’re too slow!” snickered Elena.

“We’re the same speed!” Colen blinked back tears.

@sft1965 stopped jumping and squealing. “Azlar has the mana troops.”

“Gross!” gasped @nevarmaor. “Look!”

Indeed, poor Heimdall was vomiting red troops all over the place. He was looking rather pale.

“Didn’t the devs explain all the side effects?” asked @sleepyhead.

“Vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness …” @Photon read Heimdall’s updated hero card.

Proteus pointed and shuddered. “Did you read the super tiny print?”

“What does it say?” growled Heimdall.

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“No matter how good your troops are, how highly emblemed or how limit broken… you can still lose to a good strong-colour mono stack if RNG decides!”

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“I know that!” Heimdall hissed.

Then he tackled @sleepyhead … very, very slowly.

Proteus waved his hanky. “Get out of the way!”

Hu Tao sipped his smoothie. “He hasn’t actually tackled him yet.”

“I’m still waiting!” snickered @sleepyhead. “I have time to get out of the way.”

“You sure about that?” @sft1965 frowned. “Because rare side effects include–”

“Being slow like molasses …” @Photon squinted at the hero card.

“Followed by supersonic speed!” @nevarmaor shouted. “Move it!”

But it was too late. Heimdall blurred and flattened poor @sleepyhead!

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“Get off me!” Sleepyhead shrieked. “You’re not my type! And I don’t like those horns poking me, ouch!”

Sleepyhead reached up, grabbed Heimdall’s helmet, and threw it away!

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“Noooooooooo” screamed Heimdall, leaping up and covering his head with his arms.

Everyone stared, shocked at the quivering figure, then looked over at the spinning helmet with its bulky mass of fake hair.

“Wow, a bald Viking!” exclaimed @sft1965.

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“no! No!” Heimdall shrank.

“I guess he couldn’t resurrect his hair,” Sleepyhead smirked, dusting himself off.

Everyone sniggered.

Heimdall began to cry. Then he…

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… picked up his horn and began to play a mournful blues riff. He started slow, establishing a foundation, then began to build variations on it up and down the scale.

Soon, others began to appear and joined him. Louis Armstrong began playing a counter melody below Heimdall’s mournful dirge. Phil Collins dragged in his bass, toms, and snare and began laying down a back beat. Peter Frampton plugged in and added his own soulful wail. Sinead O’Connor began to sing …

“Ok, enough with the shiny pates.”

It was …

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Rappers Eminem, Jay-Z and Nicki Minaj!

“Time to throw down!”

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Sonya and Isarnia sauntered in, looking fly for an ice babe.

“Are we ready to battle? Rap, rap baby!”

Dun dun dun dududun               dun
                                      dun

“See” yelled out every Vanilla Ice hero in unison. “It’s that extra ‘dun’ at the end. That makes it different.”

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“Every ice hero?” @akionna asked, suddenly fearful, looking around.

And they were indeed there. Nordri, Gunnar, Boril, Ariel, Krampus…

“Um… why do I suddenly feel all chilly?” Proteus asked.

“It’s a trap!” yelled Sleepyhead.

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“Why do they look cranky?” asked Proteus.

“Must be constipated.” Hu Tao shrugged. “Not enough smoothies to move …”

“Oh come on!” growled @nevarmaor. “You’re interrupting the music!”

“Get ready to run!” @sft1965 whispered. Then he threw lots of round objects in the air …

“Mine! Mine!” Nordri shoved Gunnar out of the way. “I need just five of them. Then I’ll dominate the 3-star tournaments!”

“Give me 10!” Boril said. “And some of those medium sized ones …”

“Back off!” Krampus growled. “Give me all of them!”

“I want blue balls!” Ariel flipped her fantastic hair.

“No one wants blue balls!” Grimm winced.

“You’re all blue!” @sleepyhead eyed him with flourish. “Blue pecs, blue abs, blue … jewels …”

While the ice heroes consumed aethers like candy, @sft1965 whistled softly. “There’s the exit. Watch out for …”

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“the Popeye armed lady!”

“What workout does she do?” Sleepyhead wondered.

“Oh my, how do those gloves even fit?” asked @akionna

“How does she not just fall over, her forearms are so big compared to the rest of her?” @sft1965 noted

“And… what’s with all that fur/hair? For that matter, what’s with that ginormous golden thing on her head?” @nevarmaor scratched his head.

“I hope we have a less creepy aether person for my element…” Proteus shook.

Hu Tao just shrugged and sipped from his smoothie. He already knew that he would likely not be many players’ first choice for Holy aethers, and had made his peace with it. It was like that with Fighter emblems and Orbs of Magic anyway…

A tear fell down Hu Tao’s cheek.

The Popeye lady glared at them. Then she…

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…let out a cackle, snapped her fingers and grew 9 times her size!

It was but a matter of time before…

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She winked!

Then staring at Hu Tao, she gave him exactly enough orbs and emblems to max himself.

“Thank you Ms. Popeye …” whispered Hu Tao. “Would you like a mango smoothie?”

She smiled slowly. “Eeryone judged me.” She pulled out a bucket of holy aethers. “Except you.”

While Hu Tao nibbled on gold balls, she turned to everyone else, her giant head gear wobbling. “My gifts for you.”

She presented Proteus with a massive mirror. “Enjoy!”

Proteus peeked at his reflection and gasped. His ears started shrinking as he became more handsome!

Too bad he didn’t notice his emblems falling off. His levels dropping to base 1-1. His skill changing to a 200% MANA GAIN FOR TARGET.

“No!” @sleepyhead lunged at his favorite 4-star. But he also glimpsed into the mirror … and froze. Did he just get more stunning? Zero body fat, fabulous hair, perfect muscles everywhere?

“Stop staring!” hollered @sft1965. “You just lost Seshat, Margaret, and Yang Mai! Your roster space is freeing up!”

“How about I give you moderator privileges?” purred Ms. Popeye. “Then you can post anything, anytime!”

“Don’t trust her @sft1965!” @nevarmaor shoved him out of the way. But he accidentally looked at the mirror and saw …

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“… and @nevarmaor saw that he had become king of E&P!”

Top 1 in all leaderboards… 2 copies of every hero… unlimited emblems… every hero limit broken…

But that wasn’t all!

He was also real life king of the world! Mansions in every major city! A fleet of private jets! Richer than Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet combined!

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“That’s overkill.” @Photon shook his head. “Is any of it real?”

So he put on his aviator shades, looking cool AF, struck a pose, and stared into the mirror.

Reality wasn’t pretty at all. He saw …

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"he saw that Popeye Lass had a terribly un-proportioned body…

… and that everyone was wearing VR headsets that made them think their fantasies were real!

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“Aww, why couldn’t you just take the blue pill?” Omega complained bitterly. “Everything is blue this quest go-round. It’s not too late, you know. Here.” She proffered a special blue-tinged aether towards @Photon.

“Nu uh. I’m good.”

Photon looked around, calculating how many cups he could win off all these players while they were otherwise occupied.

“Ah, I just can’t do it.”

And he reached out and pulled the giant golden antenna off of Omega’s head, cutting everyone else off from their golden dreams (wa wa wa).

Proteus sobbed as his reflection in the mirror returned to his old self. @sleepyhead shook his head in dismay as that lovely six-pack became a 2-4 again. Nevarmaor went into catatonic shock.

Hu Tao looked around bewilderedly. Where did his awesome buffs go? He stared at Omega and fussed and fumed. Slowly, smoke started to curl out from his nostrils. “You, you, you … NINJA!” He screamed.

Then he …

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