LOL it often feels just that long during raids
Azlar turned to Isarnia. “You go first.”
“No, no. You lead the charge.”
“Ladies first, I insist!”
“You deserve pride of place.” see what I did there?
@nevarmaor facepalmed in dismay. “Are they Canadian? Geez we could be here for days! ”
Azlarnia, whose nature was doubly slow, watched the polite feuding over priority and waited for his/her mana bar to fill. Slowly, it creeped up …
Proteus was so bored, he had fallen asleep.
Hu Tao nudged him.
Proteus woke with a gasp, and accidentally unleashed his special on Azlarnia!
“Awww…” Azlarnia sat, crestfallen. “Now I have to wait a bit longer…”
Then Li Xiu stumbled, sending her seven blades at Azlarnia, cutting their mana even more.
“Are you kidding me?!” Azlarnia facepalmed.
Then Lady of the Lake dropped her basket, and a few sword minions fell out, pelting Azlarnia, cutting even more mana!
“This is getting ridiculous!” Azlarnia began jumping up and down in a rage.
“No, no, a true gentleman would let a wonderful lady such as yourself go first! And after all, we will be more effective if you reduce their defense first,” Azlar pointed out.
“Well, that last bit is difficult to argue with…” Isarnia noted.
“Will you two just get it on already!” Miki yelled from nowhere…
… but in doing so, he silenced Azlar and Isarnia!
Rigard rolled his eyes. “You are all very lucky I am so useful. Hold on a sec while I get changed.”
Soon, the Dapper Noble was ready and cleansed the silence. In the process he also boosted their attack a bit. “Hah, better than a smoothie I bet.”
Hu Tao’s ears perrked up. “What did he say?” he asked Proteus, who was now back to snoring peacefully.
“… you really should have right of attack as a noble ruler.”
“No, no, I am not dressed for the part. I insist you … hey, do you feel stronger?”
“Let’s just attack together then.” And the two of them turned towards Azlarnia only to discover a very serious plot hole …
Actually, it was a literal hole. Apparently Morris had wandered onto the scene.
And then Morris began talking like Mr. Rosetti when he appearedin Super Smash Bros Brawl saying random stuff.
Morris continues on for what seems like forever to the assembled heroes:
Toxicandra asks @Photon, “Should I heal him?”
“Nah” responds @Photon “Let’s just wait for a bit”
“Oh and keep away from that @sft1965 1965, Australian slang is so ‘common’” says ‘Toxy’.
Proteus talks to Hu Tao who responds with, “a hemp smoothie might well do the trick. It couldn’t make this monologue worse…”
Proteus persists however, Morris has him deeply perturbed. “Do you think my special might help?”
“Don’t be stupid Fishman!” says Hansel. “Your idea is to poison him over time?”
@Sleepyhead appears and shouts, “Get off my Proteus you monster, visigoth. He was trying to be helpful!..”
“I can control him, I’m just not sure If I want to.” continues Hansel (ignoring @sleepyhead for a brief moment, but that healthy physique?..). “Morris is just so badly dressed and out of shape. At least you have that muscular lean physique and that dapper hankey Proteus.”…
Sleepyhead paused. “Hansel… are you… FLIRTING with me?”
Hansel stumbled a bit. “Well, I mean… I…”
“There’s room for both you and Proteus on my team, you know…” Sleepyhead’s eyes twinkled.
“It would let me rest a bit more!” Proteus wiped his brow with his hanky.
Hansel whispers; “well I have been accused of being ambidextrous before” (or was that amphibious?) thinks Hansel?
‘Compared to Natalya’, Hansel thinks ‘@sleepyhead should be like mom’s chicken soup’.
But before Hansel could act on his… um… feelings,
Gretel appeared and whacked him on the head!
“What do you think you’re doing, Hanky?!?” Gretel yelled!
“How rude!” Proteus threw his hanky at Gretel. “Just ask nicely!”
“Ew!” Gretel jumped out of the way. “That hanky has been everywhere!”
“Timeout!” @sleepyhead stepped in between them. “We have an emergency!”
“Did we run out of smoothie?” gasped Hu Tao.
“Did we summon Dawa again?” grumbled @Photon.
“Is he on vacation?” asked Hansel, sniffing the popular discreetly.
“More like forced vacation,” muttered @TGW.
“I know where he is.”
Everyone froze and stared at @Rook.
Rook arched her back and purred.
“He is in a safe place, far far from here.”
“And will you tell us if we give you catnip?” Hansel demanded.
“A catnip smoothie!” Hu Tao’s eyes lit up.
@Rook smiled slowly and said–
"I will tell you everything for a price."
“I have a special recipe–” Hu Tao paused the blender.
“Everyone line up!” @Rook interrupted.
“I’m getting scared …” Proteus quivered behind a new hanky.
“Oh snap!” @nevarmaor backed away. “Hide your rosters!”
Sleepyhead’s jaw dropped. “But Rook, I’m FTP! You know how hard it is to get ANY 5*?”
Rock smiled evilly. “You have to give one up!”
Sleepyhead quivered. “But… but… I love them all!”
Although, he thought to himself, if he had to pick one… No way would it be Seshat, Malosi, Margaret or Inari - they are offensive staples. And before pulling Bera, Seshat was also my Purple defense queen… that leaves Aegir, who was my first 5 ever and still sees use in Buff Booster, Mythic Titan and Ninja Tower… so it would have to be poor Aeron, outclassed now by 2x Dapper Noble Rigard… and not just in battle…*
Sleepyhead swooned, thinking about his last date night with Dapper Noble Rigard. Dapper, handsome, boosting his strength… AND rich!
Rook smiled. She knew what Sleepyhead was thinking. And a frying pan hovered threateningly above him…
Poof! Aeron appeared!
“You TRAITOR!” Aeron yelled. “I was your only cleanser until 16 months in the game, when that upstart Rigard showed up!”
Sleepyhead jumped back. “Hey, hey, I just said I was NOT going to give you, or any HOTM, up!”
“But you were thinking it!” Aeron stamped his foot. “You ungrateful brat! I’m going to…”
“Like a smoothie?” Hu Tao asked.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Proteus waved his hanky.
“Not a good threat bro …” @nevarmaor sighed.
Just then, perfectly crispy lumpia fell from the sky, hitting everyone like greasy lumps of hail.
“Delicious!” @Rook nibbled on the yummy treat.
“Aeron listen–” @sleepyhead finished three lumpia without blinking. “These are fantastic!”
“I cleanse you of your healthy eating habits …” Aeron murmured. “And your daily exercise regime.”
“Stop eating!” @sft1965 shouted from far, far away.
“Oh my!” @Rook blinked at the lumpia. “These don’t affect me at all. But …”
Aeron grinned at @sleepyhead. “Look at you now.”
@akionna kudos for the research! oh, tasty lumpia with sweet chili sauce and/or banana ketchup… mmmm…
Sleepyhead held his stomach. “My pants… they don’t fit well! What did you do?!”
Aeron threw his back and laughed. “That’s what you get for thinking of giving me up!”
Let’s get this rollin again.
Once upon a time, at a base on a beach…Hu Tao is at the cafe. “Gimme another.” He said. “Hu Tao, that’s your fifth one. If you drink anymore smoothies, you’ll pass out.” Belith said. “No worries. I’m good.” Hu Tao said back to Belith.
Then, a woman dressed in green walked in. “I’ll take my usual.” The woman said, sitting down. “Who is she?” Hu Tao asked. “You don’t know who she is? That’s Toxicandra.” Lianna said, sitting next to Hu Tao. “Never heard of her.” “How have you not heard of her?” Lianna asked.
“I think Hu Tao’s been on a smoothie-spree the past few months.” Proteus said. “Though I’m suprised he hadn’t gotten a brain freeze yet.” Wilbur added. "“Is this the part where everyone starts bashing on me?” Hu Tao asked. “YUP!” Everyone except Belith and Toxicandra said in unison.
As Belith was making Toxicandra’s drink…
Proteus yelled, “Incoming!”
Bright stars rained from the ceiling, knocking everyone senseless.
“Oh no no no no!” wailed Belith, unable to summon a cooling mist. “I’m red!”
Toxicandra gasped, staring at her crimson fingers. “Is this color all over me?”
“Your face, your Marilyn Monroe legs …” Hu Tao snickered. “Even your belly button.”
“You’re still yellow.” @nevarmaor frowned. “Why?”
“My cleansing smoothies.” Hu Tao squinted at his friend. “What color are you?”
“Pink!” Proteus waved his hanky happily. “Do my ears look smaller?”
“But where did these stars come from?” grumbled @sleepyhead.
“Feudal Japan.” @akionna grinned. “Which was never an empire. Or a country for that matter.”
“I tried to defend you!” @sleepyhead growled. “But he was really … enthusiastic.”
“Is this necessary to the story?” @Photon asked.
“Not at all.” A voice interrupted. “But I am.”
LOL at the reference to the other thread @akionna
Everyone turned to look at the speaker…
“Heya!” The headless… er, detachable headed… er, I’m struggling here… clown threw his head at the crowd!
Everybody shrieked and ran in different directions!
Except Hu Tao who just calmly and passively looked at the talking head soaring through the air.
“Wow! Finally, someone NOT unnerved by this!” Marcel’s flying head was clearly impressed.
@Rook purred unexpectedly. “Watch this.”
Everyone turned to see a row of cast iron pans trembling with excitement.
“Go!” @Rook slapped a delicate paw on the nearest object.
The table cracked in half.
“Duck!” @nevarmaor shouted.
Frying pans zoomed in the air, smacking Marcel’s noggin left and right.
It was like an unruly tennis match, back and forth, up and down. No net, no tennis ball. Just Marcel shrieking every time his face kissed cast iron.
Proteus gasped. “He looks bruised!”
“He’s a moron.” Hu Tao shrugged. “He should duct tape his head to his body.”
“Watch out!” yelled @sleepyhead. But it was too late.
“Duck!” Sleepyhead and @nevarmaor screamed in unison, as a particularly large frying pan hit Marcel’s head at the group!
But out of nowhere, a flurry of feathers swooped down from the sky.
“You called?” asked the leader of the flock of ducks that always flies over the base!