🙌 What the game really needs...I have the Holy Grail of answers

[voidstrike]

We have seen many departures, breaks, separations, one affirmation of not leaving, and many other posts that continue to drag us down.

I have found the solution…the game needs…

To find a way to package a mini-Voidstrike and add him to all alliance rosters. Just like the veg-o-matic your mini-Voidstrike “he slices, he dices and so much more”:

• Provides intermittent comedic anecdotes
• Available as a scapegoat for all your internal dissension & issues
• Available as someone to point and laugh at to feel better
• Feeds his 3 star heroes away immediately so has that child-like wonder and amazement at every Dawa summon
• Will not score higher than you in War
• Will not knock you out of Loot Grade A+ to C on Titan hits
• Will provide a compassionate ear of an individual keenly attuned with the struggles, frustrations and sadness of mental health issues
• Will check up on you to make sure you’re staying sane in the midst of the global pandemic
• War banters amongst the best of them

See testimonies of “highly satisfied” - “meh” from the following:

“I don’t know why I ever moved him into the Pirate Horde from the waitlist…he keeps perpetuating the ̷f̷a̷c̷t̷ lie that I’m a robot…” - @zephyr1

“He’s my favorite tile store customer…will go mono red and buy every color but red from me. Highly profitable ̷s̷u̷c̷k̷e̷r̷ customer…” @ProfLoki

“He’s allergic to cats…how rude…” @Rook

“Why does this clown tag me in his random ■■■ threads…” @Rigs

“We stole his use of the word ‘retrain heroes’ for the Hero academy and hoped he wouldn’t notice” @Staff_SGG

“He keeps thinking we’re on some team in the forum counting game…” @Sarah2 @PlayForFun @Mothra

“He hates me” @TGW

“He keeps calling my attorney a Kangaroo…” @Guvnor

All of this to say…the best parts of the game are the players themselves (and the player created supplemental content) so with that premise which forum regulars/personalities do you wish you could bottle up and send to each alliance to brighten up their day a little bit?

[sleepyhead]

first, a question…

exactly how tall is mini-Voidstrike?

Asking for a friend who is in dire need of help cleaning underneath the sofa.

[voidstrike]

That’s a great question…

[ProfLoki]

I can only support this!
A mini @voidstrike is also perfectly to be blamed for bad jokes (you put in) in the featured message.
The mini voidstrike needs to be implemented as fast as possible!

[TGW]

Already tried that. Had to kick him out.

While I fully support his right to not wear pants when he’s in his own home, it was starting to make the rest of my alliance uncomfortable.

[Muchacho]

This seems like a trick … like how when a Mogwai gets wet you end up with a Gremlin. What’s the catch?

(makes sure his wallet is still there)…

[Novo]

Just wondering if there’s a money back guarantee on the “Mini-Voidstrike”? In case all my comic relief demands are not meet to gut busting satisfaction.

[voidstrike]

While I am shocked & appalled at the mere notion that a mini-me would not be able to provide all the comic relief demands of a customer…

There is a money back guarantee but I don’t think you’d want to proceed with it:

You see each Mini-Voidstrike comes at a cost of $9.99 to me. Where I will pay you to allow him to grace your alliance with his presence and provide the comic relief…so a money back guarantee would mean that you would be paying me $9.99 back to remove him from your alliance.

Very complicated stuff…

As I said, shocked & appalled that such a thought could cross your mind.

[Sarah2]

Genius! Pure evil? Genius .

A mini-Voidstrike to brighten the day. OK where does one sign up? Asking for a friend, as stealing, no borrowing, from pirates always ends badly in the movies .

[voidstrike]

Well now that I brought up this excellent idea…

…I’ll probably let it linger…

…the lingering will turn to festering…

Then I’ll make an ill-advised promise to deliver it before the end of the year which I won’t.

I’ll have an alpha version which I scrap before it sees the light of day

Then when people are on the brink of hopelessness I’ll release a version into Beta…

…which will be praised by the masses for addressing every promise I ever made before I release a live version to a chorus of “oohs” & “ahhh”, jubilant tears of joy falling from every person who endured the long wait…because I put on for my ̷c̷i̷t̷y̷ gamers…on on for my ̷c̷i̷t̷y̷ gamers

[sleepyhead]

wait, you said Holy Grail…

is mini-Voidstrike bigger than the Rabbit of Caerbannog?!?!

Holy Grail - Killer Bunny

[Math4lyfe]

@voidstrike… you left off the bit about whether your mini me would be equipped with the cooking skills that non mini you possess?

[Math4lyfe]

But to answer the question posed… all members who are tagged or who have commented thus far would be welcomed rays of virtual sunshine.

Adding @AncientPirate1 @Saphirra and @PooFlingerJr… plenty others I’d like to add but I’ll save some gems for others to tag.

[Saphirra]

@Math4lyfe

all members who are tagged or who have commented thus far would be welcomed rays of virtual sunshine.

that includes you too @Math4lyfe.

[Mamasan62]

I volunteer as tribute! I can be positive and annoying at the same time! Go multitasking!

[Mamasan62]

Is a skirt appropriate? Asking for a friend.

[Mamasan62]

I can assure you, I have a no refund policy. I am always there for comic relief. I am hilarious, my mommy said so.

[GelatinousPilot]

Does the mini-voidstrike come with or without pants? Asking for a friend.

[sleepyhead]

@Mamasan62

I can assure you, I have a no refund policy. I am always there for comic relief. I am hilarious, my mommy said so.

and moms are always right.

Mine says the dogs are more obedient than I am (true), and on the occasions the dogs and I both come to greet her, she always hugs the dogs first.

So I guess I can’t volunteer as tribute

[voidstrike]

@sleepyhead

is mini-Voidstrike bigger than the Rabbit of Caerbannog?!?!

Size to be determined…but taking into account the previous request of cleaning under sofas…that would make sense

@Math4lyfe

whether your mini me would be equipped with the cooking skills that non mini you possess?

Let’s go with yes…but they’re all mini meals (you know sort of like the evil genie twisting your wishes so they’re still disappointing)

@Math4lyfe

all members who are tagged or who have commented thus far would be welcomed rays of virtual sunshine.

Adding @anc1ent1 @Saphirra and @PooFlingerJr… plenty others I’d like to add but I’ll save some gems for others to tag.

I agree with that assessment and with the additions…the old man is one of my favorite people in this game/forum.

@Saphirra

that includes you too @Math4lyfe.

Exactly. You’re no longer orange listed.

@Mamasan62

I can be positive and annoying at the same time! Go multitasking!

@Mamasan62

Is a skirt appropriate? Asking for a friend.

@Mamasan62

I can assure you, I have a no refund policy. I am always there for comic relief. I am hilarious, my mommy said so.

Alright…that’s quite a bit of information at once. My policy is no pants…meaning generally no lower garments beyond boxers/boxer briefs…and since you have your mother’s ringing endorsement who am I to stand in your way, except the progenitor of this thread & concept who makes the rules…so actually quite a bit allowing me to stand in your way. I won’t… (for now)

@GelatinousPilot

Does the mini-voidstrike come with or without pants? Asking for a friend.

I’m insulted that this needs to be asked.