Congrats on your promotion to the Big Leagues. Your first day out there, you probably will feel a little sick, a little queasy. Those bright lights are no joke. You got a stadium full of eyes looking right at you, seeing if you gonna make the play. Watching, looking to see if you gonna screw up.
And for a rookie, that’s a lot of pressure.
Remember your training!
@jonah passes a note
Oh. There’s not any training.
Remember to follow your instincts!
@jonah passes another note
Oh, you’ve both got terrible instincts and have been told explicitly to ignore them, huh?
Well. In that case all I can say is: good luck! Don’t trust your instincts, just try not to get run over out there. And always remember - we believe in you! You’re OUR BOY BLUE! (Except we might try to throw you in the swimming pool as a joke. AS A JOKE! …?)
and 
and 
!!
(And 
and there isn’t an emoji for murder for some reason 
… wouldn’t worry about it anyway I’m sure you’ll be fine!)
Edit:
I’ve got some work to do today, unfortunately. But I did get started on something to aid you in your new roles: