Ways for Zynga to make more money (not serious)

I’m already sitting on Richard’s back while he’s doing the push-ups :stuck_out_tongue:

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we are all joking around here. :slight_smile:

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Zynga have an untapped market with the intense frustration and aggravation this RNG-dominated game generates.

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Hero-themed cell phone bumpers. The sample shown is vaguely Owl Tower themed.

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It’s good that you mention that occasionally.

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Pay 10 dollars to get your villergers to fart every time you greet them, causing a raid shield to appear for 10 secs

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for the low price of $10m USD, a player can have their likeness used for a new hero design!!

did you ever wonder what it would be like to be an OP hero? well, now you can!!!

*Zynga is in no way liable for embarrassment, dissatisfaction or other negative effects caused by a player’s face being known to all other players due to them appearing on a hero card

**Zynga is in no way obligated to take the player’s input in terms of any aspect of hero design, such as special skill, stats, element, passive ability, or artwork

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you new player? wanna start at level 50 with fully upgraded buildings, 100 fully max heroes (25 of them Legendary heroes, 35 epic heroes, and 40 rare heroes) all non s1, and 1000 food and iron bundles?

buy our starter pack promo at $1999,99

  • all the starter heroes are random of course
  • and so is the bundles
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“Fed up of paying your credit card bill?
Just give instructions to your bank to forward your entire salary to Empires and Puzzles. Guaranteed trouble free!”

NB. Does not take into account any expenditure in the game, and customer is still expected to pay for any purchases made in the game or on the webstore.
Does not take into account any other expenditure you may have.
Any financial losses on the customer’s part is the customer’s own responsibility.

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I think SG should start a GoFundMe page. It’s easier. You don’t have to make new heroes or anything like that.

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Pay £10,000 and Viv is yours for the night,

Black Friday deal ——-Pay £5,000 you get the Toon Viv

:astonished: Does Viv know shes being offered on a per night basis? Poor girl.
Does the dragon cost extra? Just asking for a friend…

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$2000? That’d be an absolute steal!

Hell, a huge swathe of players spend an exponential amount more than that for only a fraction of a roster of that size and/or quality. I’d seriously consider burying back in myself, unless I’m misreading your dollar value. :thinking::upside_down_face:

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Well i mean its possible to get this lineup tho :frowning:

  1. Rian
  2. Boss wolf
  3. Exeera
  4. Kerstell
  5. Sargasso
  6. Salmon loki
  7. Mok arr
  8. Gilligan
  9. Noor
  10. Klaern
  11. Guardian owl
  12. Atomos
  13. Jade
  14. Victor
  15. Lughaidh
  16. Leadria
  17. Mica
  18. Celidana
  19. Thoth-anum
  20. Capt. Nemo
  21. Elradir
  22. Perseus
  23. Rana
  24. Khiona
  25. Gregorion

Lol she’s just there to heal you in an omni way, in an oasis retreat in the desert.

Dragon is extra I’m afraid, I checked with Dudeious :pensive:

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wanna add smth:

  1. Golden Retry: Pay for a “Golden Retry” that lets you redo a failed raid without losing any items or energy. Because everyone deserves a second chance… if they can afford it.

    • Premium Gratitude Feature: After a particularly brutal loss, the game sends you a personalized, uplifting message for just $1.99. “You tried your best, and that’s what matters!”
    • Emergency Therapy Hotline: For a small fee, get immediate access to a therapist specialized in dealing with gaming rage. Perfect for when you lose your 6th raid in a row!
    • In-Game Dating Service: Match with other frustrated players and bond over shared misery. “Swipe right if you’ve ever rage-quit!”

ps: games as a service probably sucks

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Do you have a real life enemy? Someone you absolutely despise?

For the low low low price of your soul, Zynga will spam this person with hourly invites to download and play the game !

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Another idea!
Buying heroes!
Yes, yes, I know it’s already added, but I mean that ex. you can buy to your account full set(so about 60)current meta heroes all at LB2+25 and all with matching 5* troops for the small prize of $ 99 999,99(BELOW 100K :astonished:) .
All whales would buy it!

1 Like