Thanks for the feedback and what you do in an effort to be available. You are right there is no blanket solution to many of the items discussed in this thread. But some iteration or combination of these ideas could help someone who is reading this thread or going through a dark period so I do hope the conversation continues with more ideas/coping methods/etc. posted.
Thanks. It took a bit but I’m feeling back to normal(ish).
Also alluded to within this thread is the pressure to spend outside one’s means to “keep up” with friends or an alliance.
Do you believe financial investment (or lack thereof) into this game present barriers in discussing mental anguish/stress the game is causing?
Example being if someone who budgets $10-$100 a month tries to advise/pull someone (spending less than $5/month) out of a dark place or potential spiral, do you think the financial disparity plays a factor in how effectively they can be present for that alliance teammate?
I can only speak to those I have been blessed to be associated with. There is no judgment there, and advice is freely given. Encouragement is always there with advice on how to proceed with f2p or c2p. It is sometimes a double edged sword though, because (only in my mind, I am certain), the feeling of being unable to offer any likewise help toward their goals cannot be easily set aside. People can only offer what they can, and I know it is up to me to overcome my own insecurities, so I go forward. Thankful for all of these blessings.
I think it all depends on how it’s handled… when I chat with people who are confiding in me (alliance mates or others), I don’t usually bring up the game. It’s secondary to their well being. I’m lucky to be a part of a family of alliances… which brings with it lots of variety when it comes to play style and money/time invested in the game. We get to know each other through our general chat room or advice room. If I happen to be the person they reach out to, it’s rarely because of how I play the game or how much money I spend.
@voidstrike
Thank you for creating such a beautiful post. I am sorry I am just seeing it for the first time but I have been a little preoccupied.
You are a wonderful, empathetic ,young man and just the creation of this post shows your integrity and concern for others.
The last three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me and the tendency for me in stressful situations is to go bury my head and go it alone.
My alliance members and the people of this forum have had a dramatic impact to make the weight of my recent circumstances a lighter load.
I cannot thank you enough for reaching out to me on a personal message through LINE.
I know you are there for me.
PRICELESS
And to all of you wonderful people who have encouraged me so much I just want to say that I am always here for you.
So much great information here and so many good responses.
I am continually amazed by the good people associated with this game and with this forum.
@Math4lyfe
Simple words cannot express what a statement like,
" Just wanted You to know that I was thinking about You " can do to lift ones spirit.
Kudos to all who have contributed here. You are all making a difference. Don’t ever forget that!!!
Thanks for the replies @Bassackwards & @Math4lyfe . I appreciate you expressing the openness with which you engage people and how you limit/try to prevent unnecessary mental barriers like financial investment in this game from engaging with the players at a people level.
You know I’m always apt to forget so always appreciate the gentle reminders that caring is never a poor investment. Incredibly grateful to know you and be a small part of this walk beside you.
Depression for me sometimes creeps up while I try to be available and present for others who may struggling with sadness, fear, anxiety, etc.
Sometimes I over-exert myself because I just want to feel useful or helpful in some capacity to someone. Unfortunately that is definitely not a healthy long-term rhythm because I’m just trying receive external affirmation to ascribe some form of value to myself.
Do you have any practices or habits to ensure alliance members don’t fall into trap of equating affirmation (or lack thereof) with value (how useful/beneficial/helpful a member is)?
To know that any contribution, no matter how small it may be, is helpful makes my heart happy. This forum is full of many patient, caring and helpful people. I would highly recommend new players join in discussions. Again, can only speak to those I know through my alliance, but reminders that patience is a must and that everyone started new at one time, have been invaluable.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread and helped raise awareness as well as encourage different methods of dealing with the emotional waves experienced during E&P.
I am going through a season where I can’t continue to steward/direct the conversations here without becoming repetitive or diluting prominent topics to trivial ones, so this is possibly the last bump from me on this thread for a little while.
This discussion thread will remain open as long as it’s continuing healthy discussions.
But in case this is my last post in this thread, thank you once again for hearing my story, for sharing snippets into your stories and for striving to make life a little easier & a little better for those who struggle to see the sunshine through the rain.
This is a great thread! I’m out of likes, but here’s my 2 cents worth. This is coming from the perspective of an alliance leader and someone with personal experience in depression and anxiety.
The first tip that I can offer is to make sure your alliance is a welcoming, nurturing, and supportive environment. As a leader, you set the tone. The behavior you model and tolerate will determine the culture of the alliance. This applies whether your alliance is hyper competitive or more laid back. If you encourage other players when they’re struggling, others in your alliance will do the same. If you quickly put an end to any bullying, badgering, or mean spirited comments, your alliance mates will do the same. If you’re open about your struggles and mistakes, your alliance will be less likely to beat themselves up over a bad board or taking the wrong team to a titan. Alliance leaders are in a unique position to make a difference here.
The second point is that I agree with having an external means of communication like Discord or Line. It allows your alliance to develop more friendships and closer bonds. It also provides a channel for talking privately to someone about things they may not be comfortable saying in front of the whole alliance.
Thanks @NPNKY for your supportive comments. You’re absolutely right about leaders setting the tone for the alliance. From experience it’s better to err on the side of compassionate and cautious than assume everyone has a similar sense of humor. It is also a shame that there isn’t an effective/better means of communicating in game as I am sure some of the people who don’t want to download an additional 3rd party application would benefit from it. Sorry for my delayed response, I just did not have anything to comment on the heels of my last post that would enhance/carry the conversation.
So…a lot has happened in the world since my last post a little over a month ago. Due to the current global battle against Covid-19, I thought it was important to bump this thread in this new climate of self-quarantine, social distancing, infections and yes, even death.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Are there any aspects of E&P that are triggering (or comforting) more emotions with the uncertain economic status and one’s own well-being?
Yeah, so Zephyr and I are in the same alliance so we’re in fairly frequent communication. Additionally I know @Rook on Line as well and then @JonahTheBard@littleKAF@DaveCozy are very responsive to flags & tags here on the forum. They can engage in private message on the forum as necessary.
I definitely agree that people observing stay-at-home/shelter-in-place/self-quarantining as well as those on the frontlines of combating Covid-19 are accumulating a mental weariness that we have not seen before, so it is important to continue to destigmatize the discussions around mental health and wellness.
This thread definitely encourages community support but I’d like to reiterate that generally us forum-goers and alliance mates are not a replacement for legitimate professional help if anyone is really struggling and that resources to call lines are available in the first post of this thread.
@Math4lyfe No Hugs…virtual hugs, maybe…keep your social distance!!!
@voidstrike Yeah I agree with you on this! But I think the title doesn’t fit because as a german player I don’t know what “waves” mean and didn’t find it as I searched for a topic of “mental health”! And you should not only concentrate on the US , also on other country’s
The hotline numbers included in the link below (also in the first post) include 10 countries so far (including Germany).
Concerning the title, I wanted the thread to remain focused on discussions and not devolve into an ideological flame/complaint fest, so I tried to keep from just writing Mental Health thread as just a precautionary measure.
100 posts in, the forum has rewarded my leap of faith in discussing this matter so I’m cool with the title being readjusted to include mental health (so it’s searchable).
Edit: All of this to say @JoDa thank you for shining a light on this being a global matter and not just U.S. matter, I don’t want any merging/consolidation of any posts made to seem like discouragement to the thread you had posted, rather appreciative for the goodness to care.
I have a very close friend and a daughter-in-law who both suffer from bouts of anxiety, sometimes severe. Usually brought on by things well beyond your control, like the current pandemic. The more things seem beyond their control the worse the anxiety, and it can become paralyzing. The best medicine is just being a sympathetic ear and offering help and support.
This game with all the RNG in it can also be anxiety-inducing. You need a big titan hit at just the time you get a lousy board, and you feel like you have let the team down. Same with wars.
I have had bad attacks and bad titan hits. Usually I am right in the chat saying I’m sorry to the team. If me as one of the top hitters generally can have a bad day then so can anyone else. Maybe it’ll make them feel a bit better. A few others have followed suit with this. It’s important that everyone knows we don’t expect perfection.
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