Waves: Discussion on how to support alliance mates through mental health and emotional aspect of E&P -

I feel like this is a trap…:thinking::thinking::thinking:

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I’ve tried multiple times to recruit the whole battle school lol

Anyways back to work @voidstrike I’ll revisit later

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@IrishLass

I’m really glad you were able to see that you were in a less than helpful alliance. I think too often players don’t recognize how bad an environment has become and stay too long, for the wrong reasons.

There are lots of great alliances, with good, supportive leadership. I think we need to keep encouraging players (especially new ones!), to never accept being made to feel less than any other player. If you’ve tried your best and used all your flags, then it’s up to the leaders to ask if you need/want any advice.

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I know I may not have tagged the right people @Ender_BattleSchool @Wormwood @Rigs sorry for that and hope y’all will just mute the topic if it’s irrelevant or you don’t care.

But I do feel if an alliance is actively competing, in Top 100 alliances that members have certain expectations as opposed to the laid back nature of some of the alliances/leadership mentioned in the thread so far and do think exploring what (if any) effects different expectations have on alliance members (if it’s an added sense of pressure or a sense of relief since you know if you don’t meet the requirements you’ll be removed/kicked/leave until you can). It would help frame a clearer picture of have member roles expectations vs. a toxic alliance.

Because I feel pretty confident Crew-Saders Family, 7D Family or Blazing Dawn Family are not toxic that’s why I tagged some random names to get a well rounded perspective to this discussion.

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I think a toxic environment can be found in any alliance, regardless of standing. It almost always starts at the leadership level, in that it’s the leaders who need to set the tone and protect and support the alliance members.

According to some posts on the forum, many new players get trapped in toxic alliances, and they would be far from the elite ones. I think the pressure felt in the top alliances is often “self-induced” . Trying to stay on top and compete must be exhausting.

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This true. I did not intend to infer it was an equivalent exchange that you sign up for a toxic environment by trying to compete on E&P leaderboard.

This is more what I wanted to address/differentiate are some toxic alliances/environments feigning like they are competing with the best and using that as a license to be abusive towards alliance members.

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I don’t think any alliance starts out with, “hey let’s be toxic!” :grin:

I do agree that leaders set tone and hold the line for expected behavior. Not every group successfully communicates their vision to newer members; I know we have to work hard at this in mine. :wink:

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Are you sayin I’m toxic? Lol

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I’ve seen performance and spending issues put pressure on members

I’ve seen members leave over it

I’ve spent hours on the phone dealing with the frustrations

Weird part is it’s typically the ones that are doing just fine

I find that self induced pressure can outweigh any kind of outside pressure on some people in many situations

No matter how many times i tell em to chill, they’re doin fine, it typically doesn’t help cause it’s not pressure anyone is putting on them but themselves

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REMEMBER THIS IS THE FARTHEST FROM THE FACT my friend… :wink: :slightly_smiling_face:
I also suffer greatly from it. I have also had these same thoughts. When I was a whale I ALWAYS had horrid thoughts as I could NOT afford it. My wife showed me the bank account figures for ONLY 1 month and I immediately became SICK at my stomach. I am NOW Very Cheap 2 Play PERIOD. When I struggle most in game is farming and horrid boards in wars. I am leader of a GREAT alliance, we are like family. It makes me crazy when I dont look like a leader because of pitiful war scores.
I am ALWAYS willing to talk to someone that is struggling. So if anyone is at anytime I am on YELL my way, do NOT hesitate.

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Except in cases of obvious toxic behaviour such as bullying and cursing at players - I think toxic is relative to a player’s sensitivities.

For instance, on my one alliance I’m the only female (one other but her husband fights her wars). Sometimes someone will say something that I think may have been a bit harsh, and my husband will tell me that he didn’t take it that way at all. This has been told to me by quite a few of the guys at different times, and I’ve come to realize that the guys, while always being supportive and polite, still speak differently than I would.

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This is probably the most accurate statement you’ve ever made :grin:

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Not gonna lie

I can be a real d…

I try to only do it when i believe it’s needed though

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You can also be an incredibly supportive friend. :wink:

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Back at ya

20characters

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Yeah I think @zephyr1 tells me this at least once a month…because I fall into that category of self-induced pressure.

Thank you good sir. I think the hardest thing is that due to the irrational nature of depression, this truth is quite difficult to comprehend.

I know leaving toxic alliances has been presented multiple times in the thread and this solves the problem for an individual but it leaves open the chance/opportunity for new players to be subjected to this environment/abuse. Any thoughts on that or is the consensus to leave and take the good eggs with you and make a new alliance?

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I say get out asap, if you stay and try to get teammates to follow you deal with the problem longer …NOT a good idea… Find or make a place then Tell friends where you are headed and leave

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But @Rohn, you are an all around good guy and obviously more than willing to help. Many leaders aren’t. Some seem to forget the large part RNG plays in war outcomes, Titan hits etc.

Plus telling someone they are doing fine sometimes makes them attempt to do better because “Fine” I’d quite a ways from “awesome”. It’s a fine line to walk, you want your alliance to make progress and succeed but don’t want to put undue pressure on newer players.
Take my alliance for instance, in AW after our 9th win, facing a pretty solid, tough team across the board. The new players normally take out the 3k and under teams…except there are all that many. Now I have a few feeling bad and apologizing because they only took out the Thorne tank using 2/3*…it’s tough to make them realize the achievement that is. Not sure I’d go after Thorne with my 3-2’s and 2-3’s…I sure would apologize if I killed the tank :joy:

But in some minds anything less than taking out the whole team is less that sufficient. But we will keep plugging away and see where we end up. We are fighting alliance jumpers, most of the team just joined in the last 4-5 days. They were showing low cups and Defense’s… now. Turns out they only had 2 teams under 3k and also sent a spy which we messed with a bit. He left right before AW ended. We ended up losing but also one of our best teams was down with kidney stones and left 6 flags on the field. The other alliance used all of theirs, which I will give them respect for. We lost by under 300 points which it’s likely those 6 flags would have won this one.
But it’s all a game, Kidney stones do suck!!

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Yes kidney stone do suck for sure.
In my alliance from day 1 they are told NO ONE is better than anyone else. However good they do is how good we all did. EVERY point counts no matter what heroes you have. We have
ONLY 1 rule in wars we all run same tank I F possible. Even our big guys say sorry after bad scores, I always reply NO NEED to say sorry we did best we could, we all get crappy boards and luck.
On the summons and tc20 aspects I say point blank they WILL come just keep on chugging

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Lol, sounds exactly like my alliance @Rohn, we win or lose as a team…although real life pain like trying to fit a truck through your urethra take precedence over using your flags :joy: