Waves: Discussion on how to support alliance mates through mental health and emotional aspect of E&P -

Thanks for the replies @Bassackwards & @Math4lyfe . I appreciate you expressing the openness with which you engage people and how you limit/try to prevent unnecessary mental barriers like financial investment in this game from engaging with the players at a people level.

You know I’m always apt to forget so always appreciate the gentle reminders that caring is never a poor investment. Incredibly grateful to know you and be a small part of this walk beside you.

Depression for me sometimes creeps up while I try to be available and present for others who may struggling with sadness, fear, anxiety, etc.
Sometimes I over-exert myself because I just want to feel useful or helpful in some capacity to someone. Unfortunately that is definitely not a healthy long-term rhythm because I’m just trying receive external affirmation to ascribe some form of value to myself.

Do you have any practices or habits to ensure alliance members don’t fall into trap of equating affirmation (or lack thereof) with value (how useful/beneficial/helpful a member is)?

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To know that any contribution, no matter how small it may be, is helpful makes my heart happy. This forum is full of many patient, caring and helpful people. I would highly recommend new players join in discussions. Again, can only speak to those I know through my alliance, but reminders that patience is a must and that everyone started new at one time, have been invaluable.

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Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread and helped raise awareness as well as encourage different methods of dealing with the emotional waves experienced during E&P.

I am going through a season where I can’t continue to steward/direct the conversations here without becoming repetitive or diluting prominent topics to trivial ones, so this is possibly the last bump from me on this thread for a little while.

This discussion thread will remain open as long as it’s continuing healthy discussions.

But in case this is my last post in this thread, thank you once again for hearing my story, for sharing snippets into your stories and for striving to make life a little easier & a little better for those who struggle to see the sunshine through the rain.

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:heart:

(Run outta likes again… FFS)

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This is a great thread! I’m out of likes, but here’s my 2 cents worth. This is coming from the perspective of an alliance leader and someone with personal experience in depression and anxiety.

The first tip that I can offer is to make sure your alliance is a welcoming, nurturing, and supportive environment. As a leader, you set the tone. The behavior you model and tolerate will determine the culture of the alliance. This applies whether your alliance is hyper competitive or more laid back. If you encourage other players when they’re struggling, others in your alliance will do the same. If you quickly put an end to any bullying, badgering, or mean spirited comments, your alliance mates will do the same. If you’re open about your struggles and mistakes, your alliance will be less likely to beat themselves up over a bad board or taking the wrong team to a titan. Alliance leaders are in a unique position to make a difference here.

The second point is that I agree with having an external means of communication like Discord or Line. It allows your alliance to develop more friendships and closer bonds. It also provides a channel for talking privately to someone about things they may not be comfortable saying in front of the whole alliance.

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Thanks @NPNKY for your supportive comments. You’re absolutely right about leaders setting the tone for the alliance. From experience it’s better to err on the side of compassionate and cautious than assume everyone has a similar sense of humor. It is also a shame that there isn’t an effective/better means of communicating in game as I am sure some of the people who don’t want to download an additional 3rd party application would benefit from it. Sorry for my delayed response, I just did not have anything to comment on the heels of my last post that would enhance/carry the conversation.

So…a lot has happened in the world since my last post a little over a month ago. Due to the current global battle against Covid-19, I thought it was important to bump this thread in this new climate of self-quarantine, social distancing, infections and yes, even death.

Hope everyone is doing well.
Are there any aspects of E&P that are triggering (or comforting) more emotions with the uncertain economic status and one’s own well-being?

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Perfect timing. As usual.

We all handle times like this differently… but just know there are people available to help… in whatever way is best for you.

Hugs to all.

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Yeah, so Zephyr and I are in the same alliance so we’re in fairly frequent communication. Additionally I know @Rook on Line as well and then @JonahTheBard @littleKAF @DaveCozy are very responsive to flags & tags here on the forum. They can engage in private message on the forum as necessary.

I definitely agree that people observing stay-at-home/shelter-in-place/self-quarantining as well as those on the frontlines of combating Covid-19 are accumulating a mental weariness that we have not seen before, so it is important to continue to destigmatize the discussions around mental health and wellness.

This thread definitely encourages community support but I’d like to reiterate that generally us forum-goers and alliance mates are not a replacement for legitimate professional help if anyone is really struggling and that resources to call lines are available in the first post of this thread.

@Math4lyfe No Hugs…virtual hugs, maybe…keep your social distance!!!

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@voidstrike Yeah I agree with you on this! But I think the title doesn’t fit because as a german player I don’t know what “waves” mean and didn’t find it as I searched for a topic of “mental health”! And you should not only concentrate on the US , also on other country’s

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It’s been tough… but I’m acclimating to the air high five… sad face.

Stay safe and well everyone. Reach out if you need to… virtually of course.

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:raised_hand:… … … … … … … …:raised_back_of_hand:

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Fair point, added to the title

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The hotline numbers included in the link below (also in the first post) include 10 countries so far (including Germany).

Concerning the title, I wanted the thread to remain focused on discussions and not devolve into an ideological flame/complaint fest, so I tried to keep from just writing Mental Health thread as just a precautionary measure.

100 posts in, the forum has rewarded my leap of faith in discussing this matter so I’m cool with the title being readjusted to include mental health (so it’s searchable).

Edit: All of this to say @JoDa thank you for shining a light on this being a global matter and not just U.S. matter, I don’t want any merging/consolidation of any posts made to seem like discouragement to the thread you had posted, rather appreciative for the goodness to care.

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Anxiety!

I have a very close friend and a daughter-in-law who both suffer from bouts of anxiety, sometimes severe. Usually brought on by things well beyond your control, like the current pandemic. The more things seem beyond their control the worse the anxiety, and it can become paralyzing. The best medicine is just being a sympathetic ear and offering help and support.

This game with all the RNG in it can also be anxiety-inducing. You need a big titan hit at just the time you get a lousy board, and you feel like you have let the team down. Same with wars.

I have had bad attacks and bad titan hits. Usually I am right in the chat saying I’m sorry to the team. If me as one of the top hitters generally can have a bad day then so can anyone else. Maybe it’ll make them feel a bit better. A few others have followed suit with this. It’s important that everyone knows we don’t expect perfection.

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I’m legitimately concerned about what to do, if we run out of baby wipes and diapers for my son. No store I’ve visited online or otherwise has either item…ever. They are pretty much gone as soon as stores are open, which gives priority to the elderly, which is fine, but we have people buying up baby wipes that don’t even have a baby.

What’s the alternative if our basic needs can’t be met? I’m more afraid of mass paranoia and panic than I am the virus. Legitimately worried, and I’ve struggled with depression moreso recently because my concerns fall on deaf ears. We are running out of essentials, and no one cares. Not the stores. Not the customers. Not the government. No one. So, yes, I’m worried.

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Cloth diapers and washcloths?

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But what do you do with the poop residue on the washcloth? I mean, do you wash it down the sink or tub? And how can I ensure that those wash clothes are going to be clean enough that they won’t eventually be carrying a harmful disease when soap and detergents are also getting hard to find?

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People I know in this situation have been getting rid of the residue in the toilet then washing the cloth with bleach. Surprisingly the dollar stores around here are where I’ve been able to find bleach, laundry detergent, and baby wipes. I wish you luck finding what you need.

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Alright. I’ll give that a try. @Delerium

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I have had severe depression and anxiety since I was a teen and now I’m 49! I think it is really AWESOME that you have this on here for people who also suffer from mental health issues!! With this virus and with all the “stay at home“ rules it’s hard to be at home and not be able to do the things you enjoy or just get out of the house!
Being depressed and having to ‘stay at home’ makes me feel more isolated and I get really depressed when I can’t do what I normally do! For me when I’m depressed I can’t get out of bed or do anything​:pleading_face: I don’t even play my games on my phone or interact with my alliance like I would normally do. If I do talk to anyone it usually Is very short and a lot of ‘my life sucks’ or ‘I can’t handle this’ or ‘what’s the point’ type of responses. Sometimes I even get irritable and may take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it :exploding_head:
If you suspect a person may be struggling, or even those who may not be, just talking to them or just saying “hello“ is a great way to help a person feel like they aren’t alone. Also, being a good listener if they do want to talk is the most positive way to help! Maybe even share how you are feeling so they can see they aren’t alone out there in this!!

Sending positive vibes to anyone who is suffering or knows someone who is :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts: This to shall pass :wink:

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