Vivica, Elena, Joon and Khagan walk into a bar...the Awful Jokes thread

#1

Firstly, if you actually have an idea about how to use the titular heroes in a defence, please go here and assist Obsidian, who’s title I have appropriated:

Vivica, Elena, Joon and Khagan

Now, without further ado, here are some really awful jokes:

Cyprian has no nose
How does he smell?
Terrible!

Why is Joon barefoot?
Even his socks are holey

What’s the difference between Chao and Cabinboy Peters?
One cuts the mana, the other mans a cutter

Knock knock
Hu’s there
Fudge, I was really hoping for a 5* yellow this time

What do you get if you cross Kirill and Amoena?
Alcoholic spirits

What do you feed too much ham to a red 4*?
A ruptured Colen

What do you call a green 3* cooking at the bottom of Atlantis?
A deep fat friar

30 Likes
The Ridiculous Complaints thread
:broken_heart: I HATE / LOVE this game! – A Guide to Complaining, Celebrating, and Overcoming Obstacles
Keeping up a friend's' spirits during tough times
#2

makes me miss my dad lol

4 Likes
#3

Onatel walked into a bar.

Then a chair.

Then a table.

43 Likes
#4

Where is the neck of Cheshire?
After a spell it was swapped to Proteus.

What’s in the bottle of Danzaburo?
He ordered a growing tonic from china and got this bottle with estrogen.

Who’s the makeup artist of Ragnhild?
Onatel.

8 Likes
#5

Tyrum sitting at the counter:
“Two beer and a sponge, please.”

8 Likes
#6

Miss miss
Wu’s there
Missed another 5* yellow.

10 Likes
#7

Knock knock
Xiu’s there
WHY CAN’T I GET A 5* HOLY HERO?!

8 Likes
Bon Anniversaire @KalosianPorygon 🎂 (that's 'Happy Birthday' to anyone without Google Translate)
#8

Why does Frida support the 2nd Amendment?
She has the right to bear arms

13 Likes
#9

Santa Claus everytime was Pro toys…

Victor knows every drink in a bar, but he was not Gin aware.

4 Likes
#10

You deserve a hero token for this!

6 Likes
#11

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and asks, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

10 Likes
#12

Kiril: Did you hear that Empire and Puzzles was almost not made?
Boril: No, why?
Kiril: Nobody thought that they could Finnish it.

17 Likes
#13

Boril: What happened then?
Kiril: They did, though, because some of them were Russian.

11 Likes
#14

Vivica, Elena, Joon, and Khagan walk into a bar, and the bartender strikes up a conversation with Joon.

Bartender: Who’s that friend of yours surrounded by all the guys?
Joon: Oh, that’s Vivica - she’s the life of the party.
Bartender: And that ugly bearded guy with the girls hanging on his every word?
Joon: That’s Khagan. No one used to like him, but he recently got buff.

The bartender leans over and whispers, “And the lush sitting alone at the end of the bar drinking herself to death?”
Joon: Elena. She drinks too much because she’s always alone - she feels it necessary to counter every advance they make, but she somehow always seems to revive each morning.
Bartender: And what about you? Want a drink?
Joon: I can’t, I’m always the designated driver.
Bartender: And why is that?
Joon: I can’t handle alcohol. My favorite is Jim Beam, but I’m too much of a Light-Weight.

14 Likes
#15

Horghall walks into a bar just after closing. The bartender looks up and says…sorry man, you’ll have to leaf.

18 Likes
#16

…and then asked for a hoodpecker.

1 Like
#17

No, he came after closing. Had to groot it out alone, slowly.

7 Likes
#18

I feel like this belongs here:

17 Likes
#19

Awesome xD i ■■■■ bricks

1 Like
#20

@General_Confusion
20 loud groans!

3 Likes