The Ridiculous Complaints thread

In the immortal words of the Hon. Earl Landgrebe:

“Don’t confuse me with facts: I’ve got a closed mind.”

6 Likes

Dear Small Giant: quit it with the unannounced buffs

I would like to complain in the strongest terms about the fact that Small Giant keeps making unannounced buffs to loot, raids, and color stacking after each and every game update.

This is happening whether the update is a major release, minor revision, or bug fix patch. This incessant unannounced buffing is unacceptable!

I don’t have any direct data to back up my claim, but the rules of logic dictate that it must be happening. My evidence is as follows:

  1. After each and every game update, multiple people post complaints about how raids are worse than they used to be, loot drops are now nerfed, and color stacking no longer works because they can’t get enough useable tiles.

  2. Within a couple of weeks after an update, these complaints mysteriously die down.

  3. When the next update hits, all of a sudden the complaints return.

Now, there are two possible options here:

A) Small Giant is making a steady progression of nerfs to all aspects of the game with each and every update, and not reversing the nerfs between updates

If this were true, though, to a perceptible level, we would be down to 4 ham, 3 iron and 1 common herbs from each 8-7 farming run by now. And opposing heroes would be having full mana every single turn, which would enable them to use their specials three times each.

Worse, we’d be lucky if we ever saw a single tile of our stacked-into color. After so many consecutive nerfs to color stacking, they’d need to add extra rows and columns to the board just to have somewhere to put all those extra tiles of our missing color.

B) Small Giant is making unannounced buffs between updates

Given that none of the parade of horribles from option A) have come to pass, you’ll see that this must be what is happening. And it makes sense.

After all, alert players keep catching the devs with their hands in the cookie jar. Rather than admit their mistake with a public mea culpa, the devs just go back in and silently restore everything to the way it was with an unannounced across-the-board buff.

But when the next update comes out, they think: “Aha! Now is our chance to re-introduce all our nerfs again!” And so they slip them back in to the update…

…only to get caught again by alert players.

I hope you’ll join me in demanding that they stop this vicious cycle.

18 Likes

Oh thank goodness for all these highly intelligent, alert, strategic, well-articulated, and data-mining individuals who are keeping us safe. Without their gratingly aggressive voices, we would be lost to the diabolical nerfing.

9 Likes

She has the utrarare hidden scabbard.

6 Likes

She has Wall of Swords, clearly those two swords are not her only swords.

20190517_082825

7 Likes

I would like to complain about the constant closings at the Dark Tower Theater. Every day, my subjects line up waiting to watch the iMax version of their favorite 30 second ads and are frequently disappointed. All the work they put in day in and day out, they at least deserve a 30 second respite EVERY day. You would think SG/Zynga would be able to provide a steady stream of advertainment for the little slaves, er, ahem, subjects. For compensation, I would like to receive compensation for all the missed rewards^5 and 200 Epic Hero Summons’.

Thank you in advance

8 Likes

I AM HERE TO LODGE A FORMAL COMPLAINT IN YOUR HONOR AND BECAUSE I WANTED TO, SO EXCELLENT TIMING.

IRREFUTABLE PROOF:

I mean nevermind that I should’ve tripled yellow to fight the purple tanks and just went with my last raid team because I was lazy, and nevermind that THAT raid I didn’t have any blue, cleared some secondary yellow tiles that cascaded into blue and wiped out the tank, and nevermind that THIS happened later in the same raid:

IRREFUTABLE PROOF. FIX YOUR STUFF SGG.

11 Likes

My first quick glance at the image, with Cyprian and Tibs side by side, I swear I saw a clock there.

10 Likes

It’s a 1.50pm kickoff

7 Likes

It’s a Timex commercial. Their watches were always set at 10 to 2 to highlight the name.

4 Likes

And I was going to complain that Tibs was a backstabber…but now all I see is a Tank Chopard.

3 Likes

I want to complain that nobody is taking my super serious complaint seriously and is making watch jokes. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

:wink:

5 Likes

Don’t worry time will come when all things are :blush::blush::blush:

3 Likes

It’s a looong wait until 1:50 where I am. Only then can I address the legitimate seriousness of the issue.

2 Likes

No, it’s 1.51am, my birth hour and minutes :crazy_face:

3 Likes

You’re all wrong. It’s clearly half past ridiculous!

8 Likes

Will somebody please use protractor to measure it? We need some clarity here :rofl:

2 Likes

Hold on, let me dig that sun dial out of storage …

Oh darn the sun went down. I’ll get back to you in about 10 hours.

Wow, this forum even censors minor cusses like dam…

5 Likes

Doesn’t she have a 2nd slot? :innocent:

1 Like

if she uses two hero slots does her mana speed double?

1 Like