The Ridiculous Complaints thread

Dear SSG,
I wish to complain.
As you can see from this picture, Red Weed is growing in my stronghold.
My villagers appear unbothered by the threat of the weed and Martian Invasion coming with it.
Blithely they wander around, unaware of the risk.

I demand an immediate Richard Burton vocal siren to alert them to the coming threat…
‘No one would have believed in the last years of.’

OHHHH-LAAA, DAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH…

5 Likes

So I think to invite Nashgar to work with me and Little John in our barbra shop
Massive Chop now :thinking:
@FrenziedEye

1 Like

Multiple people defending SG may be same person? I think there’s some Fight Club sh*t going on here…

3 Likes

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club .

3 Likes

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

NO LIMITS! I complain this! We should give more than one like :sob:

1 Like

When I was looking through my roster I realized that Merlin has no nipples. It bothers me now every time I look at him.

8 Likes

Lol yes i work for SG, that’s why my posts never get flagged and i never say anything bad about them.

And I’m caught. I’m not a southern white guy living in the southern US. I’m a guy in Egypt that tags myself regluarly then i respond to myself

Lol what a joke

Perfect place to put that guys complaint @Jedon

Think we may need Ridiculous Complaints Hall Of Fame soon

8 Likes

You realize you just made everyone stop, open the app, and look at Merlin? Do you??

13 Likes

Hey Tyler Durden, don’t beat yourself up over it.

1 Like

Dear SGG,

I must complain that i have never received Merlin from any summons.
I am unable to check to see if Merlin has no nipples because of that.
It is causing me great distress that i cannot confirm or deny the nipples.
Having plausible deniability about said nipples is making me feel conflicted.

14 Likes

Dear SG,
You were in Finland, right ? Not the puritanical USA, but a European country where nudity is more tolerated ?
Shame on you for Merlin’s lack of nipples. Shame. On. You.
Sincerely,
A player from France, country of love.

6 Likes

In answer to your inquiry about the real purpose of Guardian Kong, I have attached photographic evidence. He is court appointed, but not in the role he may have led you believe. He actually works here:
InkednPjHbxQyWvc1ZmWTu9lioF4hYOZskUGu1fC_womNvoY_LI

He is the official Guardian of sandwiches.

14 Likes

Dear SGG.
I must complain about the flags atop my stronghold.
Unlike my fellow ridiculous complainers, the uneven flag length does not bother me.
My main concern is that the 5 flags atop my stronghold flutter in the breeze.


However, the flag atop my barracks DOES NOT FLUTTER!!!, it just sort of projects from it’s flag both in a lifeless fashion.

This is unacceptable and i demand an emergency programming intervention from yourselves, to make my barracks flag flutter.

That is all.

4 Likes

This may be due to the effect of the castle walls causing a windbreak at low levels of the castle. The winds near the top of the castle are unimpeded by the walls, and thus have much stronger winds on average.

However, there is good news! The solution is that SG simply needs to make the flagpole over the barracks taller, raising the barracks flag out of the internal boundary layer of the castle and into the free flowing mixed layer!

You’re welcome, SG. Now get to it! No time to waste!

11 Likes

@LSLordy, This. Is. Egregious! Flaccid flags! How can we be taken seriously if our flags are flaccid? What kind of rumor will spread if our enemies find out we have flaccid flags about our kingdom? Will they think we cannot get up and fight? That our ability to rule behind closed doors is failing? We need to raise this flag high and let it wave its might ferociously!

3 Likes

@Hrairoo.
I fixed the 'not wu kongs legal, guardian kong picture for you…

4 Likes

@Hrairoo
Perhaps by changing it to a ‘blue’ flag, it might be a little less flaccid?

5 Likes

Or @LSLordy, now we’ve got perfusion problems that need to be addressed STAT.

We need to attend to this issue, strike hard and fast, but maintain stamina in our fight for equality with our partner, SG, because only through combined delectation can we reach acme.

2 Likes

@Kikyo

Following your logic, why do the windmills go round???


Seriously Small Giant Games, is it too much to expect one flaccid red flag to flutter???

5 Likes

You don’t need very strong winds to make the windmills turn. In fact, strong winds are probably detrimental to the windmills.