The Dawa Anomaly and Da Vinci Syndrome - a Conspiracy

Good afternoon friends.

I’m sick again and moderately feverish (moderatorly feverish?) so here’s another rip roaring adventure that’s nuttier than an explosion at the squirrel factory.

You can also read one of my older conspiracy theories about whether the God of the Dead is stalking us here.

Let me begin by sharing a legend from Renaissance Italy, featuring that staple of tall tales and my third favourite ninja turtle - Leonard da Vinci.

Leonardo Da Vinci, just before he commenced work on his “Last Supper” had a violent argument with a fellow painter. Leonardo was so bitter that he determined to paint the face of his enemy, the other artist, into the face of Judas, and thus take his revenge by handing the man down in infamy and scorn to succeeding generations. The face of Judas was, therefore, one of the first he finished. And everyone could easily recognize it as the face of the painter with whom he had quarreled.

This story came to mind when I was examining my latest haul from the Masquerade event - a costume for Dawa.

Now, as we all know Dawa is objectively the worst 3* in the game and the only hero to have an identical but weaker special skill to another hero in their rarity (or in this case, two).

Dawa’s original special is hit one with splash damage to two, the same exact skill as Ishtaak and Kiril. But, inexplicably, she does a lower percentage of damage and has no other secondary effect.

She is simply inferior.

Just in case you don’t have the cards to hand, here you go:

But then came costumes; would Dawa get some reward for her years of neglect? Kiril and Ishtaak both got very serviceable costumes; surely then Dawa would finally get respect.

No.

But some cruel logic exactly the same thing happened.

Observe

Once again her special is identical but inferior to another 3*. (And given an appallingly lewd name).

And don’t give me some excuse about her stats being different, that never worried Grimm, Gormek and Tibertus!

So, for what reason could Dawa be repeatedly singled out for abuse?

I think the reason is clear;

Dawa is an artistic likeness of an enemy of a major player at Small Giant.

Maybe a business rival, ill-favoured college professor or unfaithful lover. Maybe all three. We may never know.

But the crucial part is the end of the tale.

But when he came to paint the face of Christ, he could make no progress. Something seemed to be baffling him, holding him back, frustrating his best efforts. Finally he came to the conclusion that the thing that was frustrating him was that he had painted the face of his enemy onto the face of Judas. He changed the face of Judas and was then able to resume his work on the face of Christ and this time did it with the success that the ages have acclaimed. When Da Vinci moved past his right to take revenge and made the right response instead, he broke the power of hatred.

And now the bugs in the game, war matchmaking, 2* tournaments, the nerfing of tournament loot and the self-harm around Telluria come into focus.

There can be no peace without forgiveness. Repaint Dawa, buff her special skills and then, finally, the curse will be lifted.

Thanks for reading and thanks to Corona virus for another opportunity to slum around my bedroom.

Jonah

15 Likes

I’m lucky I was born with very little jealousy in my heart. I am however, a wee bit jealous of your incredible writing skill. To weave a tale like you do is something we should all strive for. You sir are Forum Treasure!

Cheers!

3 Likes

My next post will examine the theories of why this post was unlisted for an hour.

4 Likes

Brilliant. That is easily the funniest thing I’ve read on here today! :clap::clap::rofl::rofl::rofl:

1 Like

Absolutely agree. He doesn’t just write but is a craftsman. I guess it just natural talent to him but unattainable to me.

2 Likes

Nice tale, just one small detail. I don’t think cDawa is inferior to Bjorn. Look at their attack values please and compare those.

Dawa’s special: 1054 attack power first slash, second one (without possible bonus) 1212
Bjorn’s special: 916 attack power first slash, second one 1603

Total power of both slashes: Dawa 2266, Bjorn 2519

I guess that Bjorn’s special ability is still superior, but Dawa’s tiles will also hit harder due to the higher attack value.

Granted, they could buff her second slash a bit more but not to forget that with that costume bonus she may become faster mana easier than Bjorn.

Ah ha, I have already anticipated this perfectly sensible idea with the Ramming Pulveriser trio.
By that logic, Gormek should have a much higher hit % than Grimm, but SG decided it was just fine for them to have identical specials.

The conspiracy lives on!

2 Likes

I truly hope that you and your family are well, take care please.

2 Likes

Cookie Settings