Proteus is Hel’s illegitimate child and Agwe is the father.
“it was just one of those things” She said, during an interview with PeachyKeen one day. “He was there and just so understanding about the troubles I had when I refused to marry the Dark Lord. I mean can you imagine being step-mother to SARTANA?? Excuse me but Hel to the no. Anyway… I’m sorry to bore you with my troubles… I still think of Agwe from time to time, people really don’t see how hard he really tries…”
Gravemaker is really Brienne in disguise.
“Every three weeks or so, I undergo this transformation and all of my rage boils over to the point I don’t even have control over it” When pressed, she continued. “Injustice to the planet is only the half of the reason I become the Blood-Stained Druid.”
Boldtusk and Gormek are twin brothers, but then Boldtusk started an exercise plan, cut out refined sugars and reports feeling much better. He now chooses to “build people up, rather than tear them down.” It is the power of his positive thinking that has lead him to be more popular among raiding parties, which has estranged him from Gormek, who has then sought comfort from food.
“I just want my brother back, y’know. It’s been so long since we razed a village and ate the people over a beer… If he ever reads this, just let him know his brother misses him. Come home, Boldie.” Sad, heartfelt words indeed.
Zimkitha is the illegitimate child of Azlar and Guardian Panther!
"Long-Lost daughter? Pfft. He banished me because I represented his shame. If you don’t believe me, I got my hair from my mother. I’ll never inherit the kingdom, but I don’t really care. I don’t want any part of that Azlar. Khiona and my mom are the only parents I’ll ever need.
Tiburtus wants to get back together with Sabina, his former wife.
“Look, I would be lying if I said Cyprian and I were friends, but I don’t hate him either. I just wish that Sabina would have stuck with me even beyond the grave. I even changed religions for her so that we could be together again. But noooo… she chose Cyp over me. It was bad enough when she died, but when I found out she was undead I really, really thought we had a chance, y’know. So I show up to her place with flowers and my new title as the Church’s official Ramming Pulverizer… and Cyp answers the door. Crushed, man.” Editor’s Note: Tiburtus invited PeachyKeen for some beers and videogames, but this interviewer declined as it would only end up in blubbering tears.
Ariel, Princess of Atlantis confesses that her hair is not natural.
“Yeah, it’s a wig. But so what, y’know? It’s just for show anyhow. Plus I can just take it off and let my handmaidens brush it while I grab a Latte and head to the temple. Can you imagine trying to maintain that thing if it was my real hair? Pshha. Right.”
Gill-Ra is really Melia with make-up!
“OMG I can NOT believe that pic is still out there!!!” She giggled uncontrollably for several moments. “Back in my senior year in Atlantis High, Mnessus and I were just goofin in drama club and I made my ‘ugly-face’ and he thought it was hysterical so I put some makeup on and laid down… like this. Then… OMG you’ll never believe it. My top got yanked off and I laid right on it just as he took the shot!” She paused, wipes the tears of mirth from her face before she continued. “Guess you really can’t take anything off the internet, can you?” Sage words, indeed.
Despite merciless beatings and humiliations in the past, Agwe has forgiven his high-school bully Muggy as well as all of his former clones.
"I’ve learned to move past all of that, you know? Just felt it was time to move on with my life. I’ve got a son now, he’s doing really well. Plus, I must have something going for me, right? I mean, after all, have you seen his mother? Yeah. I gotta be doing something right to have someone like that even look at me. Am I bitter? Not really. I just have to remain positive. It’s so easy to be dragged down with all of the negativity and feeling that you’re just not good enough. Will I hang out with Muggy? Probably not. I may have changed and I may have forgiven him, but I feel that there’s a lot of unresolved anger that he needs to work through on his own, and I just can’t be stupid about all of this, you know? It doesn’t take a genius to understand we have some major personality differences.
Colen shaved his head and adopted a new name (Jahangir) to avoid the throngs of adoring fans.
“It was time to take a step back, get some “me” time, you know? I mean, it sounds kinda crazy right? That I’d get tired of all the women throwing themselves at me? Look. I’m gorgeous. I get it. Chicks dig the mane, just ask Azlar. But, I’m tired of the drama. I still got Scarlett lookin to kill me for not callin her back and I just needed to step away for awhile. So, yeah. I’m on the down-low for awhile. Still do a lil merc work from time to time, but just need to not be a rockstar in the limelight for awhile. Find myself, y’know? Hair grows back, but peace-of-mind only comes through hard work and meditation.”
Sumitomo is the estranged older brother of Hellboy.
“Man… they made several movies about him. Sure, he’s beefy. But so what, I’ve got my merits too! I mean, I’ve killed way more people than he has. He’s too much of a goody-two-shoes, forgetting his heritage. Okokok so what if I’m a bit of a liar. So what? Con-men are people two and I don’t mind losing face as long as I’ve got the other one.” PeachyKeen asked him further questions, but he merely deflected and then stormed out of the interview.