I know there definitely isn’t any official moderator training. (If there were obviously no one would sign up for it.)
To help prepare you guys I would like to compile some of the common issues moderators face in the E&P forum in 2019 as a reference guide of sorts for you.
Due to the wide range of issues you’ll deal with, I hope that other forum goers might help to really build up this guide… but of course I’ll try to get you both started with the basics:
Issue 1:
A forum-goer is attempting to incite a revolution against Small Giant.
Solution:
First you’ll want to identify yourself as a moderator. Then BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that you tell them you’re not an employee of SG! This is critical! Next you’ll want to talk about climate change. Data analysis that we did not illegally purchase (wink wink) shows that more than 99% of posters attempting to incite riots against SG are either hippies or left leaning tree lovers. The mere mention of climate change has been shown to reliably shift any discussion away from SG!
What to do if this solution fails:
I’ve never personally seen it fail and I’m almost 35 years old. So I’m 100% certain it won’t fail. BUT for the sake of being thorough, if somehow that fails you should post cat memes. And yes. It has to be cats.
Sadly for some, you either have what it takes, sort of naturally, or you don’t. The loss of a degree of personal freedom is an eye opener as is the sheer commitment. Some people just have the right personal skills while others, ill equipped, aspire to the role but really shouldn’t.
…your first action should’ve been moving this to community content since it’s not a player guide associated with the game (rather it’s associated with the forum)…
Another sure fire way to at least slow down any topic that is going where the secret SG Employees Mods don’t want it to is to @Rigs so he will join the discussion. At that point so many flags will be thrown that Discourse will auto close it.
If ALL the above fails, contact @Gryphonknight IMMEDIATELY to convince them, using probability and that Mathematics stuff to lull them into a false sense of security. Logic tends to do that amazingly quickly. BUT!!! Only use this as the next to last RESORT!!!
IF FOR ANY REASON THIS WERE TO FAIL***Since now you both have been given the separate codes and keys, you’ll have no choice but to simultaneously insert the keys, punch in the codes, and turn the keys. This will trigger the SuperVolcano below Yellowstone to go VEI 8, at which point no further questions or problems will exist since mass extinction tends to solve many problems. Only use this On MONDAYS, because doing it on Friday would totally not be cool.
But seriously, the one thing I have learned from @zephyr1 is that once you become a mod you can only sleep when on an airplane with no connection available.
