“I’m sorry that I missed using my flags, but it was because…”
… we have a great plan! I didn’t use my flags on purpose to lose this war. This leads to a 3,56% reduced war score for our alliance which will grant us 2,7 easy matches next. We will win those easily rewarding us with 273% more loot than we lost from this war. Perfect isn’t it. Ps. Now is the time to clap and congrats me for the genius I am.
After seeing that team member with a perfect war score and knowing I had to take a clean to flip the board and could not possibly achieve the greatness that I deserve I respectfully declined to use my flags because it would have been a disservice to myself to clean the target and not achieve the top of the war leaderboard. My reputation must be kept in tact, cannot have assumptions that I had a poor war performance because it would have been tarnished by a clean.
Tbf, he’s quite a chill and funny guy, went inactive for months before we kicked him out
He probably decided to quit the game altogether back then. Well I say good for him
My wife said she would leave me if I didn’t stop playing. I got so caught up with helping her pack that I lost track of time and missed the end of the war.
Would you all believe nursing a stubbed toe takes precedence over war, and that it’s a 24-hour whole ordeal?!
Or how about attempting to solve the mystery of “where do all of my sock pairs go…” But then forgetting the point after 10 minutes and taking an early nap instead … Til tomorrow afternoon. Jk that was bedtime
Went to a school function, and lo and behold, someone spiked the punch with some form of laundry detergent, bath salts, or whatever else these darned kids be up to… & This is why cleaning is dangerous kids… (or is it school?!)
I thought I heard a monster in my closet, and in an attempt to hide under the bed… well, let’s just say I shouldn’t have had that fifth piece of cake … “Also, self-reminder to vacuum more often”
Wait, doesn’t everyone in America celebrate “The Purge” this time of year?! I know it can’t just be my family… (Although, it would sure explain why our neighbors never invite us over for dinner…)
Don’t ask for details, but I spent all night in the desert… But if anyone asks, I was with you all night.
My appendix burst, and a friend thought it’d be hilarious to take me to a vet. Turns out, he was an ex, so jokes on me… I’m writing you this message from the after-life. As for Josh, you know what to do
Ya know… there are some things the human body just can’t digest… I guess. Turns out, popery is one of them (who on earth came up with this idea, huh?! I want their address; I have a present I wanna send em… ) So without going into great detail, I needed some alone time… to focus…
First time I go out in ages, and while in the midst of playing “Murder Mystery”, JoAnn - a fellow [pretend] detective - was brutally stabbed. But solving fake mysteries is exhausting work all on its own… ya know? Who has the time to deal with the real thing… Took us 8 hours to figure out that I was the culprit all along… (the hand-writing was in cursive,okay?! It’s like some sort of ancient foreign language… who uses that anymore?!) So yeah, anyway, being the bust that it was, we (minus JoAnn, of course, cuz who remembers a person with two conjoining first names - am I right?! It’s either Jo, or it’s Ann, but it can’t be both… c’mon now) went to the place you go after such things: Taco Bell, aaaand, …we fell into a food coma in the parking lot. You may be wondering what it is we ate, and how much it all cost in tot… Wait, no? You wanna know who killed JoAnn? Pshht, not our problem. But I learned a very valuable lesson that day: You should always stay home and be lazy instead …Parking lots are very uncomfortable places to sleep
Turns out, I have apparently been pregnant these past several months, and just had what they call a ‘cryptic pregnancy’; spent my whole Saturday night giving birth. Ungrateful child; he knew I had war plans… (does anyone want him for a pack of smokes?!)
I developed dementia… But it went away on its own… “Oh wait, war’s on again? …And… You are?”
Current Randa went back in time and traded places with past Randa (she wanted a better GPA; don’t ask…). This Randa existed before E&P was ever even a conceptual thought bubble, so can ya really blame her for not knowing?! I didn’t think so…
I developed an allergy to war; who knew such a thing was even possible… I break out in hives at just the thought of it. Worst part? My doctor said that I’m no longer allowed to “eat” my enemies…
Well, I was raiding earlier today, and the boards were so against me… Anytime I had combos, it comboed til everyone had full mana (I hate when that happens!) & Everytime I had colors, they were not my own. I got so mad… So mad, in fact, that before I knew it, my phone was on fire. Upside? I guess I finally developed the pyro-kinesis I asked for for Christmas in 2001… Downside? I need a new phone.
I caught a very specific illness that allows me to do everything in-game EXCEPT war. Otherwise, it’s like the worst case of vertigo you’ve ever experienced… I am on the floor, which is now my ceiling, which is now my bed, which is now my bathroom… Are you a couch, or my husband?
Selective hearing: I don’t understand why, before every war, everyone calls me button… There’s probably some significance to this, but…
Very imaginative excuses, but the truly dedicated players don’t need them. Way back in 2018 one of my alliance members actually excused himself in the middle of ANNIVERSARY DINNER with his wife to play his war flags from the restaurant bathroom!
I am glad this got bumped. I SOOO needed this laugh. We recently had to call attention to some LONG time members who had begun only using 1 flag for “participation” credit, and re-educate the alliance on the obligations of Actively opting INTO a group activity since by default you are opted out. What those obligations are, and what it means for your alliance if you opt in and ghost the team (matching against another alliance whose matching member did NOT ghost, thus creating a delta variant in points of 12 flags)
“With all the new heroes that I do not have, and likely never will get, I spent so much time sobbing, crying and pondering the unfair power of money that by the time I wiped my eyes, the war was already over”
“I was pondering the banality of existence, how I am just trying to kill time by improving my scores in this match-3 game, thinking why I’m not spending that time honing a marketable skill instead… or, hey, maybe I can also monetize my gameplay, why should SG be the only one to profit, I can be like those YouTubers, yeah, or… but do I need to invest first, or maybe there’s a niche as an FTP YouTuber, and…”