I was never really a huge spender, but that 30-50 dollar could have had better places in the past couple years for sure. But I was not really missing it from the budget so why not.
And when LB2 hit I was angry and motivated to stop.
I was doing so good. I felt I was making a progress towards getting away from spending and eventually from the game as a whole.
I made a hard stop at spending. I tracked my game time. Reduced it weekly and I was even on the edge of unlocking my best heroes (Anne, Ludwig, Bastet and few more) and feed it into a selected 3 star so I force myself quitting.
And then I decided not to… not sure why. Maybe the money i put into this game through tge 3 years. Or maybe because I was not mad enough because of all the daily crap I face with as F2P since LB2. Or maybe the remembrance of the time when this game was actually fun.
Or maybe this is an addiction?
I always stayed away from every type of gambling. Lottery, casinos, and even from those teddy bear grabbing machines in the airport. Because its gambling. You put in the money and nothing is guaranteed in return. I keep saying to my sons:
Stay away from any form of gambling. Numbers are not on your side. The house always win.
And they do.
And then when I did not press OK feeding my heroes I felt somehow good. And I even explained it to myself that if I am not giving up I might as well buy the valor first time in months.
Few pulls cant hurt, right? And its basically content, right? What if I add few extra pulls?
I might get… something. Finally. I cant be the only one with this terrible luck. At the end of the day I saw the video online where the guy pulled 2 of the best heroes after each other. Maybe this time. Basically summer solice is the best ever chance to pull something nice that puts me back on map. Maybe its time.
But it was not time. It was never the time.
I am not even sure what to say. This is an addiction. Not a huge one for me. Not a damaging one buts its a form of addiction.
This IS gambling. And it is not a healthy one. It is supported and generated by a company who are working with people that are professionally trained in gambling / gaming phichology.
I am lucky that I was always able to put a gate to the spending even when it was tempting. It did not hurt me badly.
Of course I could have a used the oney in the past 3 years to buy new phones, PS5, PC upgrade but nothing that was essential. But I am pretty sure that is not the case with all of us…
I hope I can stay stong(er) this time.