Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ■■■, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
Most boots are made for walkin’. Chuck Norris’ boots ain’t that merciful
Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That’s true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls
How many Chuck Norris’ does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark
As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris.”
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough
Coroners refer to dead people as “ABC’s”. Already Been Chucked.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with “obstruction of justice.” This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult