Friar Tuck: A sermon from an optimist

Recently got the transcript of Friar Tuck’s latest sermon.
It’s a fascinating read, no matter what you believe in.

Part 1: The beginning

What’s to say? I mean some take a look at my healthy physique and chosen profession and think that I had this tragic life or that I’ve been broken somehow along the way. Really, I am just glad to be alive and able to help those who want it.
I mean, sure, I was taken in at the monastery before an age that I could remember, able to walk but not really form too many cohesive memories. That could be considered sad, for some. Yet, the monks there were all good men and above reproach. Every single one, to a man, kind and dedicated to a life of servitude. Did they like to drink and eat? Yes, yes they did. Were they monsters when drunk? No, mostly laughed too much, broke wind and sang hymns off key. Sure, I think Brother Mathias and Brother Ezekiel might have been unchaste, but who was I to get in the way of an octogenarian romance, you know? Not my circus, not my monkeys. Judge not lest ye be judged. Point being, I’ve heard of the horror stories about the evil that lurks in the hearts of men, but I have been blessed enough to have a peaceful, well-rounded upbringing.
When I was growing up, the worst I had to deal with was one of the boys my age punched me in the face because he thought I was smiling at his misfortune as he had been punished for skipping his daily devotional studies. What could I do? I tended to him, of course! Kid never punched me in the face again and, truthfully, I don’t recall him being violent again toward anyone else.
It wasn’t until I became of age that I discovered human cruelty and unkindness. My fault for leaving the confines of the monastery, I suppose. I was just naïve and eager to see the world. I even joined a mercenary troop, so that I could help the legendary Robin Hood save the lovely Maid Marian. I even served as her confessor for a time after that but, as you could imagine, it went against my nature at the time to be going into fights, even though I detested the ways of violent, greedy men and women. I tolerated it, because I felt it was God’s work.

Part 2: Wide around the middle

My portrait is rather unflattering in most considerations of traditional beauty, I understand this. It doesn’t bother me because we are all beautiful in the sight of the Lord. I understand that I am a big fellow and, during my time with Robin, a great many made jokes about my size. Perhaps I was a bit too naïve or without the vitriol to fight back, but it saddened me more than it wounded my feelings. Gluttony is my sin which, by the Grace of God, I struggle with every day. I enjoy wine, ale, feasting and song, with snacks before breakfast and bed, it’s what I do and it is only one way I enjoy my life in this world.
What disturbs me more is the insinuations that are made about my smile, how some besmirch the meaning by the insinuation that I have an eye for darker pursuits. The offense galls me greatly and I truly remain vexed as to why or how someone gains enjoyment from such vile innuendo. So, yes, it saddens me because it has ruined my reputation in many villages—all because the wickedness of humanity cannot abide the efforts of a pious man. Am I perfect? No, the other day I said the word ‘damn,” and I repented even as it left my lips. On the whole, however, I just try to do no harm. I build people up, tend to their wounds, inspire them to greatness and give more than I receive.
That’s the only reason we’re all here, to give thanks in the service of others. If you are a believer, which it is fine if you are not, you can see the benefit of a life of willful servitude. If you spend your life working to heal others and show grace in the face of evil, not only will people treat you better, but you will have lifelong friends who will tend to you in your decrepitude. I realize that many friends will disappoint, Derric being the largest disappointment, but even Derric (the Dark Lord) is not beyond salvation. I pray every day for the salvation of He and Commander Grey, even if it will never come.

Part 3: Here and Now

Part 3: Here and Now
I’m just trying to be who I will be and help others if they so desire. I can’t say that I’m ubiquitous, but I also cannot claim that I am Rarely around, for as much as I show up, sometimes when people would prefer that I do not. I’ve heard many a commander groan and say that “the last thing I wanted to see was your stupid smiling face.” Know I, know I. The droid you are looking for, I am not. (See? I know pop culture!) In seriousness, I am still useful and have recently seen a resurgence in my utility. The nice fellas at SG even gave me a sweet little safari outfit and a glue-on mustache! I know that The Dark Lord Derric (you also know him as Petri) works there and tries to take over the world, one forum post at a time… but even the most foolish evil can see that good always triumphs.
After all, it’s why we continue to draw breath: Hope. We can grouse about all things evil, unfair and truly feel down-in-the-dumps sometimes but, if we have each other, what have we really lost? Do we have our vices? Sure. Mine is overindulgence (working on it), yours might be throwing your coin into the toilet in hopes that a rainbow-colored, card-shaped bunch of pixels pops out, it’s okay I love you for it anyway. By the time this life is through, you’re not going to mourn the loss of a few ducats to the cause of camaraderie. That’s not to say that people don’t harm themselves and go overboard, but I’d suggest that this is the way of the world. If it hurts for too long, people stop!
The point of everything, the meaning of life and all of my advices comes to this:
Take care of yourselves. Be who you will be in the moment that you are.
Take care of each other. Show unexpected compassion to your enemies and gain a friend.
Take care of your world. In your own small way, do something better than you’ve done before. It doesn’t take much, just little bits of good here and there.
Remember, if we all do little bits good here and there, it is cumulative and we can accomplish great things… even work together, even as we play apart.

(as requested by @angeljenn149)


I. Freaking. Love. This.

Wish I could like more than once! Here’s all the love:
:two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts:



Outstanding. Truly a master piece

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