So obviously I am a big Disney fan… this next one was gonna be “Don’t Nerf Aife!” in recognition of the hilarious thread / meme / movement that started. But I was having trouble with the lyrics, so I decided to switch to…
Please Buff Marge!
Disclaimer: Margaret was the author’s first ascended 5*, but he has no regrets and still finds a place for her on offense… he’s F2P after all!
Ma chere player, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to debate, let us get the popcorn
as the forum proudly presents -
Margaret!
Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Read our ideas for her skill
Keep your eyes and mind open, devs
And we’ll provide the proof
She needs help
That poor gal
Why, she barely gets to dodge
Try her skill out
It’s atrocious
Don’t believe me? Ask the forums!
She dies fast, before she casts
After all, her defense is bad
And her speed does not protect her from the tiles!
Go on, try her out
See your cups fall, and then you’ll
Be convinced
Oui, be convinced
Please buff Marge!
Lianna’s snipe
Finley’s hit
Kageburado’s evil face
Marge can dodge and give you mana
But not always when you need it!
You’re raiding
And you’re scared
Because the enemy team hits hard
No one’s dodging and surviving
And your Proteus died again!
They charge up! Alasie hits!
And now your Melendor goes down!
And you can’t even blame the bad boards!
You cannot bet
Come on and change your team
Inari’s much better!
Please buff Marge!
If you’re stressed
It’s buffing we suggest
Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Get our hopes back up again!
Let us say for your raid team
We’ve got choices; may we suggest:
Mama North’s revive! Kadilen’s shield!
When the snipers target you
It’s better not to trust in luck!
Don’t believe me? Ask the forums!
She failed twice! Alby died!
What a horrible descent!
How could RNG be so unlucky?
We’ll make you throw your phone!
And swap her out for Thorne!
So, please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Raids are so unnerving
For a dodger who’s not dodging
She’s no good without a reviver as fall-back
Ah, those good old days when HOTMs were useful…
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Twelve raids we’ve been losing
Because Margaret keeps failing
Needing buffs, a more reliable way to dodge!
Most days she just lays around in my bench
Sitting at 3-60 without emblems
But you buff her and oops-a-daisy!
Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Sakes alive, I’ll be so blessed!
I’ll use my tonics and saved feeders
And give her all my Rogue emblems
With a buff, she’ll be used
In every War that I join!
She’ll give mana to my heroes
Mostly the slow and brittle ones!
She’ll boost Isarnia, and Azlar
Heaven’s sakes! They’ll decimate!
Clean the enemy up! With her dodging, mana-boosting!
We’ve got a lot to do!
Is it one buff or two?
For us, buff Marge !
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Please consider our request
It’s been months since she’s dodged for me
And we regret
All the shields, all the tonics
I could have ascended Elkanen!
While the feeders were still with me
Please help us, We’ll keep going
Poll by poll, thread by thread
'Til you shout, “Enough! I’m done!”
Then we’ll sing in praise as you buff her
Tonight you’ll write the code up
And we’ll use her again
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please, please buff Marge!