E&P Song Lyrics (and Songs) by Sleepyhead & Friends

This is wonderful @nevarmaor ! You’ve done an excellent job with the lyrics. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I especially like the last stanza.

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finally got inspired again…

Livin’ On a Prayer

Once upon a time not so long ago…

Sleepy used to grind for the coins, summons been all 3*s
He’s down on his luck, it’s tough, so tough
@TGW works the matches all day, working for his alliance
He brings home the gems, for love, for love

He says, we’ve got to hold on, to open our war chest
It doesn’t make a difference if we win it or not
We’ll get there someday, and we’ll give it our best
Maybe we’ll have a shot

Woah, we’re half way there
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Mop up my attack, we’ll reset it I swear
Woah, livin’ on a prayer

Steve’s got his sixth war team out (hi @sft1965 !)
Now he’s thinking where to use it, for the best points
So tough, it’s tough
@amrath buffs up her war defense
When she levels up her troops, @Duaneski whispers
Grind on, it’s okay, someday

We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got
Even if we lose it, it’s still one point more
We’ve got each other, inching to the war chest
We’ll give it a shot

Woah, we’re half way there
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Opt back in, we’ll make it I swear
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Livin’ on a prayer

Oh, we’ve got to attack, emblemed or not
You live for the fight when it’s all that you’ve got
Woah, we’re half way there
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Mop them up, we’ll reset ‘em I swear
Woah, livin’ on a prayer

Woah, we’re half way there
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Equalizer, we’ll change our defenses
Woah, livin’ on a prayer

Woah, we’re half way there
Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Run mono, we’ll get lucky I swear
Woah, livin’ on a prayer

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One of my favorite songs @sleepyhead ! Great job and thanx for including me. Made my day. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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my pleasure @amrath , and thanks for your kind words! glad you liked it :slight_smile:

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I think Hero by Skillet could be used as a song for E&P

would love to have you contribute one!

99 Dawas

If you’re having ascension probs I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine heroes but a Frigg ain’t one

I got a defense full of vanillas
Foes that want to make sure I stay in Gold
Forum critics that say he’s “Gotta Git Gud”
I’m FTP, come on, what type of advice is that?
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You’d think twice before spending on this gatcha game
I’m like, “You know nothing” I dare you to feed your heroes
And field a defense full of Vanillas
Come off your high horse, open your eyes
My Isarnia is strong, but she ain’t no Odin
I fought a 3-ninja defense, and lost three times
Those dodges are crazy, then Mama North revived twice
I don’t know what you take me as
Or understand the perseverance that an FTP has
I’m from rags to rags, 100 gems is expensive
I got ninety nine problems but Alberich ain’t one, hit me

Ninety nine heroes but Gravemaker ain’t one
If you having ascension probs I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine heroes but Killhare ain’t one, they’re all Dawa!

The year’s '21 and my hands are tired
COVID all around us and I can’t go out
I got two choices y’all, keep playing for fun or
Just leave the game, feed my heroes and throw it away
Nah! It took me forever just to get this far
Maybe a few dollars to speed up with VIP
So I, put my head down, encourage my alliance
We say, “Hey, this a game, it’s supposed to be fun”
“Not a second job, where I have to pay just to play”
“Drop money on a summons chance, or pay off my bills?”
Like come on that ain’t a choice, like seriously y’all?
“If you can afford it, more power to you” (uh huh)
“Just don’t expect me to splurge all my cash on some pixels”
“We shouldn’t have to go bankrupt just to progress in this game”
I ain’t had a non-vanilla 5 since… i dunno when did Malosi come out
“Well do you think maybe your luck is just bad?”
Hah! are you kidding, the odds are just garbage
And I know the odds so don’t convince me they’re OK
“Aren’t you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?”
“Nah just common sense yo!”
Well, I ain’t passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won’t convince me this is fair
“Well we’ll see how smart you are when Season 4 comes”
I got ninety nine heroes and they mostly vanilla!

Ninety nine Dawas I dunno what to do with 'em
If you having mat problems I feel bad for you son
I got only one Blue 5* star, so all my Scopes go to him

Ninety nine Dawas to feed to my Justice
If you having feeder problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine Dawas and they’re all food for Justice, hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago
An FTP like myself could summon some HOTMs
I kinda can still do that, but maybe not in Atlantis
Those sea dragons keep hiding, and it takes forever
Scraping and saving up a hundred darned coins
And now that Season 4’s out, Valhalla will follow
Those gnomes, when they show up
It’s still mostly food bundles
Pray for coins, come on RNG
I still got no Grevle!
You know the hype, ooh nice OP new hero
Must-have, new mechanic, yeah sure nice for you
But how many of us will get 'em, I still got no Jackal
Saved up twice for some 10-pulls, not even the Bat
The only thing that I’m getting is more Graymanes and Renfelds
And I don’t even have Renfeld’s cool new costume
And even if I did, I don’t need more than one
Maybe two, for Ninja Tower - hah! no thanks
Fifty floors, so repetitive, with OP bosses
But not as bad as League of Villains
A stat bonus for villain heroes?!
Ridiculous! Reward the lucky
Or the high spenders who get more chances
What about the rest of us, can’t even get a 5
TC 20 is slow going, and HA 10’s out of sight
I got ninety-nine heroes most of them are vanilla, oh well

Ninety-nine heroes, mostly vanilla
If you having mat problems I feel bad for you son
I got only twelve 5*s so can ascend all of 'em

Ninety-nine vanillas not even a costume
If you having mat problems I feel bad for you son
I got nobody to ascend, they’re all feeders now

Having mat problems I feel bad for you son
I got thirty-three 4*s, all now ascended

I’m crazy for hoping, maybe I’ll get lucky

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Sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 21
Bring antidotes
If I could offer you only one tip for this game,
Antidotes would be it
The long term benefits of antidotes have been proved by scientists
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now…

Enjoy the power and beauty of your newbness
oh nevermind;
you will not understand the power and beauty of your newbness until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 months you’ll look back at photos of your roster
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous they really looked…

Friar Tuck is not as fat as you imagine

Don’t worry about the boards; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to create a diamond tile out of bubblegum
The real troubles in this game are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind,
the kind that blindside you when doing some raid revenge on an idle Tuesday;

Do one raid everyday that scares you.

Sing
Don’t be reckless with alliance member’s feelings
don’t put up with members who are reckless with yours

Floss
Don’t waste your time or money on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…

the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself
Remember the wins you get, forget the losses

if you succeed in doing this, tell me how

Keep your old heroes, throw away your old credit card statements

Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know who to level up next in your roster…
the most interesting players I know didn’t know at level 22 what they wanted to do with their teams
some of the most interesting level 40s I know still don’t

Get plenty of crafting materials
Be frugal with your battle items, you’ll miss them when they’re gone

Maybe you’ll reach diamond tier, maybe you won’t
maybe you’ll summon great heroes, maybe you won’t
maybe you’ll ragequit the game at level 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 3rd year forum anniversary…
what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s

Enjoy your heroes

use them every way you can…

don’t be afraid of them, or what other people think of them
they are the only instruments in this game you’ll ever “own”

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read forum advice, even if you don’t follow it
Do NOT read bragging threads, they will only make you feel awful

Get to know your alliance leaders, you never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be nice to your original alliance mates
they are the best link to your past
and the players most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that alliance mates come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and time zones
because the longer you stay in the game
the more you need the people you knew when the game was fun

Join a tryhard alliance once, but leave before it makes you hard
create a solo alliance once, but leave before it makes you soft

Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
power creep will rise
developers will pilfer
you too will get tired, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were new
the odds were reasonable
the developers were noble
and newbies respected their elders

Respect your elders
Don’t expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund
maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse
but you never know when either one might run out

Don’t mess too much with your emblems
or by the time you’ve chosen 20, it will have cost you 85
Be careful which portals you buy from, but
be patient with those who offer advice
Advice is a form of nostalgia
dispensing it is a way of fishing Banes from the disposal, wiping them off
painting on a red costume and recycling him for more than he’s worth

But trust me on the antidotes

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Empire Giant Zynga
(Hotel California)

In a dark desert province, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of common herbs, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My boards ran empty and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There Aife stood in the portal;
I heard the summons bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up her special and she showed me the way
There were heroes down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Empire Giant Zynga
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of heroes at the Empire Giant Zynga
Any time of year, any time of year
You can find them here

Her mind is definitely twisted, she got a Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of shiny, fancy heroes that she calls friends
How they fight in the watchtower, stealing all my cups
Some raid for revenge, some raid to forget

So I called up the Captain,
“Please bring me my coins”
He said, “We haven’t had those tokens here since nineteen sixty nine”
And still those heroes are calling from far away,
Raid you right in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Empire Giant Zynga
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Empire Giant Zynga
What a nice surprise, what a nice surprise
When a five star arrives

Power creep in the foreground,
My gems frozen like ice
And she said “We are all just players here, of our own device”
And in the whales’ chambers,
They gathered for the feast
I stabbed them with my vanilla knives,
But I just can’t kill the beasts

Last thing I remember, I was
Running, trying to flee
I tried to find a passage back
To a place where heroes are free
“Relax,” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can log out any time you like,
But you can never leave.”

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more great stuff, TGW! Preach!

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Wah Haha Haha Haha! You can never, NEVER leave! Wah hah hah! (In that eerie Halloween voice)

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EP you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that odds are fine
I’ll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

It’s always tease tease tease
You’re happy when I’m on my knees
One pull is fine and next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on an’ let me know
Should I Stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An’ if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

Lack of materials buggin’ me
If you don’t want me, set me free
Exactly who am I supposed to be
Don’t you know which heroes even fit me?
Come on and let me know
Should I cool it or should I blow?

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nice one @Pike ! nice to have you contributing!

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@angeljenn149 I remember your beautiful vocals - how are you doing??

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It’s A Jungle Out There

It’s a jungle out there
Imbalance and confusion everywhere
No one seems to care
Well I do
Hey, who’s in charge here?
It’s a jungle out there
Poison in the very boards we play
Do you know what’s in the summons that we buy?
Well I do, and it’s atrocious
People think I’m crazy, 'cause I complain all the time
If you paid attention, you’d be complaining too
You better pay attention
Or this game we love so much
might just screw you

I could be wrong now, but I don’t think so
'Cause it’s a jungle out there
It’s a jungle out there

It’s a jungle out there
Greed and power creep everywhere
It’s brother against brother
Pounding on each other
All tryin’ to be the best
It’s a jungle out there
It’s a jungle in here too
You got a tap right on your phone
A microphone and camera checkin on everything you do
Call it paranoia, as the saying goes
Even paranoids are better than me

I’m not the one who’s crazy, I’m not afraid of them
They’re afraid of going broke
I could be wrong there, but I don’t think so
'Cause it’s a jungle out there
It’s a jungle out there

It’s a jungle out there
Even the devs are scared today
So if you see a moderator
Do exactly what they say
Or make a run for it
I’m only kidding with ya

'Cause it’s a jungle out there
It’s a jungle out there

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This is excellent, @TGW! Song brings back fond memories. Thank you.

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Odds Low

Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope
Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope

I opened the portal and what did I see
Comin’ for to bury my hope
Dawas and Renfelds, a Friar Tuck or three
Comin’ for to bury my hope

Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope
Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope

I took one more try at the portal today
Comin’ for to bury my hope
But all that it gave me was a reason to pray
Comin’ for to bury my hope

Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope
Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope

Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope
Odds low summons portal
Comin’ for to bury my hope

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another nice one @nevarmaor ! I miss your singing voice!

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Another hot off the press :laughing:

Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me
Little Jackie Player loved that dragon’s loot
Atlantis coins that could be used to summon help to suit

Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me
Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me

Another wave came rising, Oricalcum played some more
And Jackie Player gathered coins the loot came more and more
Ariel and Wilbur, Ursena and the Muggy
They all came when summoned hence to play with you and me

Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me
Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me

A dragon plays forever, but not so little champs
Soon the map was finished and the heroes left the camps
Little Jackie Player he uninstalled the game
And Oricalchum frolicked on except no one else came

Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me
Oricalchum the dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the rising tides, hide and seek with you and me

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hahahah hilarious!!!

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