E&P Song Lyrics (and Songs) by Sleepyhead & Friends

A Thousand Pulls

Saving my gems for months
Hoarding coins
Self control
I’m so hoping

Farming Atlantis Rising
Just counting the coins
Using refills
For a chance

And I need you
And I want you
In my account

If I could do a 30-pull
Do you think RNG would give me luck?
'Cause you know I’d pull a thousand times
If I could just get you this month

It’s always in Alliance Wars
When I think of you
And I wonder if you’ll ever come to me
'Cause all defenses are so strong
And I don’t belong
Trying and failing on clean up

'Cause I need you
And I want you
In my account

If I could tap my screen just right
Do you think that ups the odds?
'Cause you know I’d pull a thousand times
If I could summon you this time

And I, I don’t wanna spend my gems
I, I try to save them up
I, I don’t wanna waste this chance
I, I don’t

Saving my gems for months
Hoarding coins
Self control
I’m so hoping

'Cause I need you
And I want you
In my account

If I spend for some more gems
Do you think I would get lucky?
'Cause you know I’d pull a thousand times
If I could just grab you
If I could just get you this month

4 Likes

I’m Just a Noob

I started it was seven
I raided 'til eleven
And I didn’t win a single cup
I think I’ve got some good heroes
But all my boards are bad
What’s another unopened raid chest
When you’re stuck way down in Bronze
And here it goes

I’m just a noob
And raids are a nightmare
I’m just a noob
It’s definitely not fair
Nobody cares
'Cuz I lose and everyone is
Gaining more cups than me tonight

And maybe when my team is dead
I’ll crawl into my bed
I’m staring at the watchtower again
I’ll try to think about the last time
I had a good board
Everyone’s got 5*s in every color
And they’re gonna leave me way down in Bronze
And here it goes

I’m just a noob
And raids are a nightmare
I’m just a noob
Why are these boards not fair?!
Nobody helps
'Cuz I’m a noob and everyone is
Earning more cups than me…

What the heck is RNG?
I cannot beat anybody,
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I reroll and I can’t fall asleep
And every board is the worst board ever

I’m just a noob
I feel like a dupe
I’m just a noob
I feel like a dupe
Yeah, I’m just a noob
I’m just a noob
I’m just a noob
I’m just a noob

5 Likes

This is superb. Well done, and totally describes my early raiding experience in the game. :musical_note: :clap: :clap: :clap: :musical_note:

1 Like

thank you very much :slight_smile: I was getting flashbacks while writing it too! :pleading_face:

1 Like

So obviously I am a big Disney fan… this next one was gonna be “Don’t Nerf Aife!” in recognition of the hilarious thread / meme / movement that started. But I was having trouble with the lyrics, so I decided to switch to…

Please Buff Marge!

Disclaimer: Margaret was the author’s first ascended 5*, but he has no regrets and still finds a place for her on offense… he’s F2P after all!

Ma chere player, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to debate, let us get the popcorn
as the forum proudly presents -
Margaret!

Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Read our ideas for her skill
Keep your eyes and mind open, devs
And we’ll provide the proof

She needs help
That poor gal
Why, she barely gets to dodge
Try her skill out
It’s atrocious
Don’t believe me? Ask the forums!

She dies fast, before she casts
After all, her defense is bad
And her speed does not protect her from the tiles!
Go on, try her out
See your cups fall, and then you’ll
Be convinced
Oui, be convinced

Please buff Marge!

Lianna’s snipe
Finley’s hit
Kageburado’s evil face

Marge can dodge and give you mana
But not always when you need it!

You’re raiding
And you’re scared
Because the enemy team hits hard
No one’s dodging and surviving
And your Proteus died again!
They charge up! Alasie hits!
And now your Melendor goes down!

And you can’t even blame the bad boards!

You cannot bet
Come on and change your team
Inari’s much better!

Please buff Marge!

If you’re stressed
It’s buffing we suggest

Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!

Get our hopes back up again!

Let us say for your raid team
We’ve got choices; may we suggest:
Mama North’s revive! Kadilen’s shield!
When the snipers target you
It’s better not to trust in luck!

Don’t believe me? Ask the forums!

She failed twice! Alby died!
What a horrible descent!
How could RNG be so unlucky?
We’ll make you throw your phone!
And swap her out for Thorne!

So, please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!
Please buff Marge!

Raids are so unnerving
For a dodger who’s not dodging
She’s no good without a reviver as fall-back
Ah, those good old days when HOTMs were useful…
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Twelve raids we’ve been losing
Because Margaret keeps failing
Needing buffs, a more reliable way to dodge!
Most days she just lays around in my bench
Sitting at 3-60 without emblems
But you buff her and oops-a-daisy!

Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!
Sakes alive, I’ll be so blessed!
I’ll use my tonics and saved feeders
And give her all my Rogue emblems
With a buff, she’ll be used
In every War that I join!
She’ll give mana to my heroes
Mostly the slow and brittle ones!
She’ll boost Isarnia, and Azlar
Heaven’s sakes! They’ll decimate!
Clean the enemy up! With her dodging, mana-boosting!

We’ve got a lot to do!

Is it one buff or two?

For us, buff Marge !

Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge! Please buff Marge!

Please consider our request
It’s been months since she’s dodged for me
And we regret
All the shields, all the tonics
I could have ascended Elkanen!
While the feeders were still with me

Please help us, We’ll keep going
Poll by poll, thread by thread
'Til you shout, “Enough! I’m done!”
Then we’ll sing in praise as you buff her
Tonight you’ll write the code up
And we’ll use her again

Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge!

Please buff Marge!

Please, please buff Marge!

7 Likes

Wine + Long Weekend = creative juices flowing

so…

I Won’t Say (I Cup Drop)

If there’s a cup req for your alliance,
I’am so gonna fail that
Bragging rights aren’t worth the frustration
I’m all about the raid chests, silly

Who d’you think you’re kidding
You are such a munchkin, player
Try to keep it hidden,
Honey we can see right through you
Pal you can’t conceal it
We know you’re cup dropping
What were you thinking

No chance no way I won’t say it, no no
(You hide your Telly, why deny it oh oh)
It’s too brazen, I won’t say I cup drop

I thought that I had learned my lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming “Let your cups rise”
You can still manage to raid your way up

Pal you can’t deny it
What you’re doing is kinda cheating
Your heroes are stronger
Hon we saw you hit Diamond
Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up that you cup, cup, cup, cup drop

No chance no way I won’t say it, no no
(Give up, give in, check your team, you cup drop)
This game won’t play itself if I put up my best
(We’ll do it until you admit you cup drop)
You’re way off base I won’t say it
Get off my case I won’t say it
(Girl don’t be proud just admit you cup drop)
At least out loud I won’t say I cup drop

5 Likes

Had to do it…

3 Likes

Awesome! :clap: :heart_eyes_cat: :metal: :fireworks: Now I can say I’m a published songwriter :rofl:

1 Like

will go great on your LinkedIn profile lol! :rofl:

1 Like

Here is the Left Sheppard rendition of The Grey Wolf’s Telluria

Complete with mistakes :rofl::

2 Likes

Very nice. :grin: :+1:

Hmm… I might have to dust off my Casio keyboard, plug in my mic and give this Vocaroo thing a try. :thinking:

2 Likes

Hey if I can do it …

When I have free time I’ll have to sit and figure out @sleepyhead’s songs here. If I can mangle mine I can mangle anyone’s :rofl:

2 Likes

When I was a teenager, I always wanted to start a band.

Only problem was, I’m not particularly good at playing most musical instruments. And I don’t have the best singing voice. And I didn’t have any friends who wanted to join me.

Minor details. I’ve got time on my hands now. Might give it another shot one of these days. :grinning:

1 Like

When I was a teenager I was in a band. We played lots of Beatles. But I only sang back-up. Also school orchestra playing viola. I still have that around here somewhere …

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I wish I had learned a musical instrument earlier! I went to one of those horrible “kids are products” schools which focused only on good grades and testing.

our physical education class was pure theory. we only ever went on the basketball court once, the rest of it was the history of basketball, memorizing the length of the court and the height of the basket…

always found the drums appealing. if i had more space and fewer neighbors…

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also, pretty good singing there! and you definitely know something about the guitar :slight_smile: @nevarmaor it’s great hearing your voice! now i’m gonna read all your posts in your voice!

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Are you so sure that’s a good thing? :rofl:

Actually what I was playing was the little merlin I got recently. They call it a “strummable dulcimer”. It’s absolutely great for just hacking around on.

I also have 8 guitars of various types and sizes.

I have no idea what my neighbours must think about the looney who’s singing “i’m a noob” next door! :rofl:

1 Like

Well, @sleepyhead looking at the actual songs and not just the words I can probably try maybe one of yours. I ain’t got the voice for Disney. So, it looks like if I do try one it’s Journey/Glee.