This one’s for @sft1965. (If you don’t like it just tell me and I’ll delete it.) May your dreams come true. You know, in the end the good guy gets the girl. 
In the chorus, you have to stretch the geologist to make it fit. 
GEOLOGIST (TEENAGE DIRTBAG)
Her name is Sonya
I have a dream about her
My blood’s like magma
I got swim class in half an hour
Oh, how she rocks
Bikini with dots
But she doesn’t know who I am
And she doesn’t give a damn about me
'Cause I’m just a geologist, baby
Yeah, I’m just a geologist, baby
Listen to sounding crystals, baby, with me, ooh
Her boyfriend’s an orc
And he’d bring a pan to field trips
He eats a whole pork
But he doesn’t like her hips
He wants her quite fat
You know it’s so sad
And he doesn’t know who I am
And he doesn’t give a damn about me
'Cause I’m just a geologist, baby
Yeah, I’m just a geologist, baby
Listen to sounding crystals, baby, with me, ooh
Oh, geo - logy
No, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’
Oh, geo - logy
No, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’
Man, I feel like mold
Shooting stars, I am lonely
Lo and behold
She’s walkin’ over to me
This must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am?
And why does she give a damn about me?
I’ve got a brochure from GSA, baby
Come with me Friday, don’t say maybe
I’m just a geologist, baby, like you
Oh, geo - logy
No, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’
Oh, geo - logy
No, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’…