E&P branded merchandise! New and improved!

Are you so hot, you are cool as ice? Does your smoldering stare melt the hearts of ice princesses? Does your passion burn so hot, your mere touch turns water to steam?

“Ice Diamond” cologne is for you. (an E&P brand)


Ice Diamond! 3 out of 4 ice princesses prefer it on their man…

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Hi. I’m Azlar. I’m a busy 5 star hero. Between raids and defense I don’t have time for “4 star” litter.

Only Azlar brand kitty litter is “5 star” enough for me. Low dust, no clumping and with a fresh pine sent…

Azlar kitty litter. Use my name when ordering.

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Are you embarrassed buy your premature gray hair. We at E&P understand. That is why we have developed “Hero Gray Away”. Say goodby to gray hair and say hello to the new you!

Before:

After:

Warning: use of “Hero Gray Away” may result in a change of color, stars or special powers. Use at your own risk.

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…you know you play E&P too much when you think of a whole new cosmetic line.

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Ok E&P forum! Bring on your best ideas for new E&P merchandise!

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Have you just moved into your new dream ice palace, only to find it is overrun with red orcs? E&P Orc-Away spray is for you.

Before

After

Rid your home of those unwanted pests.

Also try E&P Undead-Away, for your purple undead riddance needs!

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Guy getting too fresh? Too familiar? Can you see his pearly whites a whole heck of a lot closer than you wish??

Try the Boyfriend Backhand of Doom!

image

Yep, the BBD, guaranteed to leave ‘em reeling. Get yours today!

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Oh boy! This thread makes my day :rofl:

Okay, i‘m not good doing commercials on a language that is hard for me to write, but i still have a victim

Hi! It‘s me Kim, pardon Vivica.

I shop all my clothes at S.G.E.P because they always have something fancy for me and my alter Ego, Kim.

You have to try and find out yourself, if your butt is like mine.

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E&P Spartan Wax for Men
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The Smoothie’s choice.

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E&P Spa Line
Guaranteed weight loss and fine complexion!

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laughing

Keep it family friendly please. Forum Rules still apply. :wink:

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Long day of mediocre loot got ya down?

Time to do something totally crazy, that you definitely won’t regret when you are Melendor’s age*.

Stop by Joon’s Battle Ink TODAY and get paint your body permanently!

The Joon himself will ink you up on the spot, offering his full range of beautiful hand drawn designs. Chance for Glowing ink available with payment of additional gems! Check out some pictures of our “satisfied” customers!

“Oh but Joon, a classy broad like me would never get ink like that…”

Well let me hold your glowing orb while you check this out:

Classy, beautiful Sonya kills her orcs one swing of the sword just like the rest of us. But when she gets home and gets her battle armor off, you’ll know she got ink’d by Joon:

SO, stop by today and get started on getting Joon’d!

*you may regret it. Joon’s Battle Ink offers no refunds and does not provide any guarantee for quality or glowing-ness of your tattoo.

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I’m dead… lmao

Ffffgddhjnvd

Ever been in battle when the moment strikes? There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. You don’t want to look like a coward, you just have to go.

Joon’s Flame of the Sun Adult Diapers allow you the privacy and protection you need, whenever you need it.

Sometimes you just need to get it out, and there’s no outhouse, no squatty potty to be found. You’re a warrior, and you don’t have time to spare. Well with Flame of the Sun Adult Diapers, you can pop a squat anywhere and relieve your backed up backdoor without embarrassment.

And with our new fresh scent, extra absorbent pads, you won’t have to worry that it’s your diarrheal reeking blinding your opponents.

Help your self-esteem and your body’s health. Buy Joon’s Flame of the Sun Adult Diapers. Your comrades will thank you.

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A companion to your excellent wax @Bertus


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I love the idea that Horghall an Zeline are the same person, just with different hair care routines

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Are you a lonely old scruffy dude? Are you looking for the love if your life. E&P’s Anime Dating Service is for you!

Before

After!!!

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Do you have embarrassing flatulence? Then stop eating E&P Brand Burritos… Duh!

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