Dear RNGesus... The Wishlist Thread

Just mailed my friends kids letters to Santa …

Figured a thread — assuming you avoided the naughty list — filled with your E&P hopes, dreams and why you deserves these wishes to be granted would me timely.

So go ahead … warm the cockles of Ebenezer RNGesus cold cold heart…

In my defense — it’s hard being good all the time, especially when naughty is so much fun …

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All I want for Christmas are Cobalt, Onyx, Garnet, Finley, Jabawock, Killhare, and costumes for Kadilen, Vivica, Azlar, Marjana and Leonidas using free pulls. Even if I have to wait for the next available portal. That’s all. Thank you.

Oh, wait… in my culture and religion, we don’t believe and celebrate christmas.

But between the two of us, I discreetly joined my christian friends in their celebration of sorts. Just don’t tell my conservative grannies. :sweat:

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I would settle for -

  1. being able to store 12 raid flags at a time (so I can open my raid chest in one go, instead of playing now, then waiting a couple more hours to play again - not a problem during the week when the raid tourney runs, but a problem during weekends!)

  2. Being able to train non vanilla 4* in Hero Academy

  3. SG not releasing all those blasted OP Season 4 heroes from Beta, and also thinking twice about that villains challenge event thing where using event heroes adds a certain % to your score :slight_smile:

As for why I deserve… uh… because… because… because I’m not asking for these for me, i’m asking for them for all of us! yeah, yeah! that’s it!

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Well… Cluck a Duck. All I want for Christmas is that game play would be less frustrating for users. The PoV Duck Hunt task: It takes me usually 5 duck circulations to get 10 ducks because each time I tap tap tap, I’m opening the danged goblin balloon or a hero summons. Move that goblin balloon up a little, pretty please. Next, Sale Pop Ups: They simply need to GO AWAY. Don’t worry, we WILL click- I promise. A few days ago, a 99.99 sale popped up as I was mid tap to check the titan and I had accidentally gone to “confirm purchase” before I realized what had happened. I saw that and became…acutely intestinally distressed.

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Dear Santa,

I know that you know that I stopped believing in you at about age 4 or so, and I have since come to understand that the entire world is governed by RNG (known in many cultures as Krampus). And you and I also both know that there is no sense in trying to appeal to his kinder nature, because he has none. He is completely and utterly devoid of feelings and fully incapable of empathy or mercy in any form.

However, on the off chance that you might happen to be real, and choose to take your own mercy on a lowly soul such as myself, here is a relatively brief list of some of the game heroes I don’t have but would like to have:

  • Aegir
  • Aeron
  • Alasie
  • Alberich
  • Alfrike
  • Alice
  • Anzogh
  • Ares
  • Ariel
  • Athena
  • Atamos
  • Azlar
  • Bai Yeong
  • Baldur
  • Bera
  • Black Knight
  • Boss Wolf
  • Captain Kestrel
  • Clarissa
  • Cobalt
  • Delilah
  • Drake Fong
  • Elena
  • Evelyn
  • Fenrir
  • Finley
  • Freya
  • Frida
  • Frigg
  • Garnet
  • Gefjon
  • Glenda
  • Gravemaker
  • Grazul
  • Gregorian
  • Guardian Chameleon
  • Guardian Gazelle
  • Guardian Kong
  • Guardian Owl
  • Guardian Panther
  • Guinevere
  • Heimdall
  • Hel
  • Horghall
  • Inari
  • Jabberwock
  • Jade
  • Jean Francois
  • Justice
  • Kageburado
  • Khagan
  • Khiana
  • Killhare
  • King Arthur
  • Kingston
  • Krampus
  • Kunchen
  • Lady Locke
  • Lady Loki
  • Lady of the Lake
  • Magni
  • Margaret
  • Marie-Therese
  • Master Lepus
  • Mica
  • Misandra
  • Mitsuko
  • Mok-Arr
  • Morgan Le Fay
  • Mother North
  • Musashi
  • Myztero
  • Natalya
  • Neith
  • Norns
  • Odin
  • Onatel
  • Onyx
  • Perseus
  • Poseidon
  • Puss in Boots
  • Queen of Hearts
  • Quintus
  • Raffaele
  • Rana
  • Ranvir
  • Ratatoskr
  • Red Hood
  • Reuben
  • Roc
  • Rumpelstiltskin
  • Sargassa
  • Sartana
  • Seshat
  • Sif
  • Sir Roostley
  • Skadi
  • Snow White
  • Tarlak
  • Telluria
  • The Hatter
  • Thorne
  • Thoth-Amun
  • Tyr
  • Ursena
  • Vanda
  • Vela
  • Victor
  • Vivica
  • White Rabbit
  • Yunan
  • Zeline
  • Zimkitha
  • Zocc
  • Zulag

Those are the legendary heroes I don’t have, and I would gladly accept any one of them. I understand that I might not have been on my best behavior all year, so I might only be entitled to an epic hero. In which case, here is my list of wanted epic heroes that I still do not have:

  • Almur
  • Ametrine
  • Boomer
  • Brynhyld
  • Captain of Diamonds
  • Carol
  • Cheshire Cat
  • Danzaburo
  • Frank
  • Fura
  • Gobbler
  • Gretel
  • Guardian Falcon
  • Guardian Jackal
  • Gullinbursti
  • Jabbar
  • Jack O’Hare
  • Lady Woolerton
  • Merlin
  • Mireweave
  • Mist
  • Peters
  • Sapphire
  • Shadereave
  • Shale
  • Sir Lancelot
  • Stonecleave
  • Sumitomo
  • Sumle
  • Triton
  • Valeria
  • Wilbur

Any of these would be nice, if you would be so kind.

Naturally, of course, I know that this letter will be ignored and automatically sent to the trash / burn pile. In which case, I would like to thank you ahead of time for the Renfelds and Dawas.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours truly,

TGW

P.S. Might want to check the expiration date on that milk before you drink it.

9 Likes

Dear RNGesus,
ditto
:point_down:

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Well, for me, just don’t let my 60 hard earned summons for January Valhalla NOT bring me Thor. It’s all honest work and hoarding. Don’t even want him in first pull - it may be the 60th, really. If you throw a Gefjon in there also I won’t ask for anything anymore I swear.

Now if Drake Fong is featured in January’s Tavern, have one wrapped for me. You know how I’ve already thrown a small fortune trying to get him in the past Atlantis portals and nada. Even if he appears at the first free pull, it’s not really like getting him for free at this point.

And lastly, the costume chamber with new heroes… that Marjana and Leonidas - wrap them up for me please. I was only getting Quintuses from this portal (shh Magni, shut up now) - give me these two and we gucci, don’t even mention this portal anymore. Can you imagine people are asking for Gravemaker or Guardian Panther and I only want Marjana and Leo? What a humble, modest human being. A perfect gift recipient. How sad would it be to disappoint such a person.

5 Likes

Dear Santa, I never complained about nerfing Telly. So give me a little more luck with the pulls and protect me from ever hating the game.

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Dear RNG,

All I want for Christmas is for you to be happy.

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@TGW

You are hilarious!!

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Would be funnier if it wasn’t true. That was an actual list of all the heroes I don’t have. :worried:

On the upside? I do have all of the S1 4* heroes. So I’m doing okay.

At least until Season Four rolls out. Then I’m going to get absolutely destroyed by anyone with a valid credit card. :laughing:

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Dear RNGesus,

I know I have been bad all year and deserve Prisca in my summons stocking.

But in the spirit if 2020, I totally understand if you place Oberon in my summons stocking instead.

I hope the players leave you unopened, plastic wrapped, government inspected cookies and shelf stable milk with hand sanitizer next to the crumb plate.

Be safe,
Gryphonknight
( to be fair, I didn’t know my Season 4 post would cause such problems)

Notes

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My philosophy has always been “don’t shoot the messenger”.

S4 are still in beta, so there is a chance that they won’t actually be completely OP when released.

There is also a very good chance that if they are released in totally OP form, they will be nerfed 2-3 months later.

Either way, we can all expect the forum to explode shortly after.

I will briefly enjoy reading and bantering while munching on popcorn for a few weeks at least, before eventually losing every single raid and war and ragequitting shortly after.

Will go ahead and state ahead of time in case I’m too angry to post it later: it’s been nice knowing you all. :laughing:

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