Are we the baddies?

I have noticed some dark stuff in the game play, and it got me wondering if maybe we, as commanders, aren’t the heroes we think we are. Loose evidence below:

1. We eat PEOPLE.
I know, we don’t want to think about it. It’s the first stage of denial that we acquire and use “ham” to train heroes and feed our construction crews, but let’s look at the facts: there are no pigs in the farms, only hay, and 4 or 5 recruits go into these training camps, and only one emerges a hero. What happens to these other recruits? Why do we have all this hay with no animals to eat it? And pigs don’t even eat hay, so this food byproduct can’t be ham. It’s people I tell you, and the hay is used in the smokers as fuel. Also, we feed heroes to each other to increase their strength. Much like ancient cultures would eat the hearts and brains of their enemies to gain their knowledge and strength, our “heroes” eat those weaker than them.

2. We are terrorists
The old question of “who shot first” proves that we are in fact the ones terrorizing the land. These “monsters” and titans go about their days with little to no effect on our stronghold, yet we SEEK THEM OUT to attack them. We deal the first blow, they mearly retaliate. And after we’ve slaughtered them, we consume their meaty bits, pilfer their clothes and weapons and pick up recruits that are only going to die in the camps and be eaten. We kill creatures that show no evidence of guilt except that they don’t look like us. And I can’t even say that would keep them safe since we eat our own kind.

3. We steal constantly
Every side quest seems innocent enough at first glance. Until I noticed something in the “Collect Gems” dialogue. Richard mentions that the city was poorly guarded. Not UNGUARDED. We killed the locals (who are also “heroes”) and stole their treasures. And we do this OVER and OVER. We kill small rat civilizations and steel their stashes of iron. We desecrate sacred temples until the guardians of the temple submit to our will and give us their stuff. We come uninvited to the home of Vampires and beat them into submission IN THEIR OWN HOME. And as I understand it, we’re about to attack CHRISTMAS! Where will our greed and bloodlust end?!

4. The Dark Lord is Merciful, while we are Stubbourn.
The Dark Lord is constantly telling us we should just join him, that we are on a fool’s mission. He says once that he has been merciful in the past, but he won’t let us continue down our path any further. At first, we think we’re the good guys, and so this is a threat we must meet with a show of force and aggression. But if we look at our actions listed above, the Dark Lord almost sounds like a tired parent that just wants their kid to behave, and so he’s set up an intervention for us. He’s taken us to rehab and anger management. He’s tried just letting us work out our issues on our own while he loves and supports us. But now, he’s tired, and fed up, so he’s kicking us out of the house onto the streets and cutting us off. He’s done showing us mercy and compassion, and if we don’t straighten up, he’s going to destroy us because we. are. a. menace.

When I look at the game play under this new light, I can only think that perhaps, we aren’t the “heroes” afterall. We are in fact, the villains of this tale.


And, your point is …?


Com’on, Bud. I’ve made my point pretty clear. I think we’re the bad guys. That’s my point. It’s something I’ve noticed. Did you notice? Do you agree?


Well written @Tamsin, it takes courage to take a look in the mirror! Blame all this on SG, and you earned a good position in



:flushed:… well, I would love to say that you are wrong… but I can’t!
:scream: I am a villain! Noooooo… give me my Illusions back! Why did you do this to me?
I can’t live with that… NO, I wonnt accept that!
Truth needs to be destroyed here, for our own good!
Face your punishment, traitor!
Where are my HEROES?
Fellas, go and hunt Tamsin down!
Let her pay! Dont show any merci and send her, her argument and her troops to hell!
This is our revenge, this is your punishment!
Muhahahahhaaaaa :smiling_imp:

  1. Amazing bit of Mitchell and Webb… do any of our ‘heroes’ wear little skulls?? Yes!

  2. YES we are the invaders - Colonial Propaganda


As you can testify, Tamsin, I’ve fed my Kashhrek no fewer than 28 PEOPLE today, I smiled while he was doing it and even bragged to another alliance member that my Kash had eaten more people than his.

And I’d do it again. And will continue to do so.

Being bad is fun. :smiling_imp: Mwahahahah!


I fed my Lizard today and as I collected enough green 1* heroes, I clicked on Kash and said “it’s feeding time” in the most maniacal voice i could.


I live in a world far more reminiscent of Europe in the time of Pepin than that of today’s suburban mom-scape. I am not evil, and the neighbors leave me alone

Dude! Could you change it into cows?
I don’t eat pigs … I’d die of starvation and not to eat a pig.
Was going to like your epic thread if just those pigs turns into cows.
So respect to the Middel Eastern guys please.


We are the bad guys, but where is the problem? :wink:


And an Empire is just a lot of stolen countries by clever use of flags…



I think the point is there are no pigs :grinning:

So that should be ok?

And cows are sacred to others


Wake up, sheeple. The farms produce soy and the food is tofu hams.

That said, we most definitely also eat people.


I’m surprisingly okay with this being a cat overlord myself.

Hoomans be tasty morsels.


As Charlton Heston once discovered:



Is this game giving you thoughts of stealing ham and iron in real life? Giving cannibalism a try too?

No? Then stop worrying about it.

You just started a riot in a rather large country east of you.


Oh did i post in the wrong topic? I thought this was General Discussion. Didn’t realize I posted in “Legitimate Concerns and Worries”.

Of course I am capable from seperating in-game and real life, but just like any fan of anything, I’ll share my thoughts, be they praise or critique, on a public forum of fans under the appropriate category if possible.

On second thought, cannibalism sounds pretty good right about now. It is lunch-time here. And with all these tariffs on steel, iron thievery is in fact tempting. And Christmas is around the corner, and ham is expensive…


This is the best thing I’ve read in weeks on this forum!


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